Dance Boiz

I Love It When I'm Unprepared For Life

Yuuri's POV (again)

It only hit me once we got to the front door of my apartment that I haven't cleaned in... I haven't cleaned. The walk with Victor was so nice and he was so warm. And, even though we didn't really say anything to each other, it calmed me down and cleared my mind more than I think it realistically should have. This all vanished soon after I was face to face with my front door and the memory of what would greet me on the other side suddenly came back. 

"My place is really messy by the way..." I warned.

"Ah, don't worry about it, I'm sure it's fine."

Even though Victor is amazing and so forgiving, I still brace myself to be embarrassed the moment he lays his eyes on the piles of clothes everywhere and the countless throw pillows, blankets, and robes that are scattered everywhere the eye can see. Though I was raised with the traditional Japanese values and a cultural necessity for cleanliness, I still manage to make a mess whenever no one is looking. The only thing that I ever actually keep clean is the kitchen. 

I turn the key and we enter. Quickly, I take off my shoes in order to start clearing the couch of all it's junk that I've placed on top of it. Victor stands in the entry way for a bit and looks around. My apartment is set up with about the same layout as his but about one third smaller and less modern. 

When I'm done cleaning everything as best as I can in only a minute, and he's done scanning his surroundings, I motion for him to come sit on the couch.

"Your apartment is so nice!" Victor says as he walks over.

"Are you kidding? It's about a fraction of the size of yours."

"Maybe, but that just makes it cozier. And the more  traditional style is so homely!" He looks around at my beige painted walls with bland wooden trim, decorated with handmade art that some of my younger family members have given me. 

"I guess so - it is home." I sit on the couch and look around my apartment to try and take it in for the first time like he is, but I spend so much of my time here that it's hard to see anything for more than what it is. 

Victor makes himself comfortable next to me and asks with great concern how I'm feeling. I tell him that I'm better than I was: now that someone else is here to keep me company and make sure I don't run away with my thoughts. He smiles and takes my hand, telling me he's glad he can help in any way that I need. 

I reposition myself on the couch ever so slightly and look down to my free hand resting in my lap. 

"You always get so uncomfortable whenever I touch you and tell you something even remotely nice." Victor states in a melancholy sort of tone.

"Oh no, I'm not uncomfortable!" I look back up to his face to let him know that I'm telling the truth.

"Then are you nervous? I would never do anything you don't want me to; all you have to do is tell me and I'll--"

"No, it's not that either! I just... I don't know... It always makes me shocked that you're so kind and funny and cute and you like me." There was a bit of a pause after I said what I should have told him when we first went out. And even though I meant every word, I was scared he was going to confirm it - that I wasn't good enough for him and it was some sort of divine grace that made him interested in me. But instead he just smiled.

"That's funny because I think the same way about you most of the time." 

"Well now you're just being facetious," I smile back, hiding the warmth in my heart with a slight jab at him.

"No, I'm serious!" He laughs. "I've only really known you for a few weeks but I already know that you're caring and kind and welcoming. But you're more than that too; you can be daring and confident - almost teasing sometimes and you're always thinking of something sarcastic and witty to say when someone gives you an opportunity. You're great in every way and I love spending time with you because there's never a dull moment or unnecessary conversation."