Torn Between The Two

Damon (Chapter 3)

I'm Damon, "bad boy" of my household. I have been that way all my life, against the world since I was born. My dad left the day I was born leaving me with no father figure. My mom tries but tbh she sucks at that job, I mean she's a girl and all. So I normally just stay in my room all day. My room consists of my 4 black walls, but they have red paint splattered across them. My black bed frame holds up my memory foam mattress and black sheets, comforter, and pillows. Other than that my closet consists of black skinny jeans, some ripped others not, and black shirts. The only shirt in my closet that isn't black is my one teal shirt, a shirt my only girlfreind got me. Now being the emo I was I had a few jackets. One white one with a zipper and a band logo on the front, another was my black leather jacket, I also had 3 pullovers (hoodies) one was straight black, another one was white with the words onward and upward writen in small lettering in the top right corner. Last (my favorite) a mcr welcome to the black parade black hoodie. I was always wearing jackets becaise about once or twice a week I ended up with cuts on my arms never deep enough for scars. Not the kind you get from being get in p.e., or the kind you get from falling down, but the kind you get from razors and knives. They are mainly on my inner forearm, but there are some that make their way to my wrist. Those are difficult to hide. Growing up I somehow always made friends with mostly girls and a few boys. Due to my mainly female friends I was bullied. They would call me 'fag' or 'bitch'and say to get real friends, but I never listened to them. That was, until someone called my sister, Azazel, a slut. That pissed me off so much I put the guy who called my sister a slut in the hospital with 3 broken ribs, a broken nose, fractured hand, and a black eye. When we were finished I said and I quote, "Call my sister a slut again and the fight will end with me hiding a dead body. Got that?" That was a year ago, they haven't talked to me since. What randon topic now you may ask, well it's my first crush. And that would be someone who goes by the name of Elizabeth Warren aka my sisters best friend. I met her when I was six because it was the rare time I left my room to get food and drinks to stock up on. A few hours earlier I had started to cut my wrist so they were sore and I was grouchy. I walked out not knowing someone else was in the house. At the time I didnt want anyone knowing about my cuts and put them on my thighs, so i walked out of my room in just my sweat pant. My chest and stomache completely bare and for a six year old I was pretty damn fit. So I walked out of my room and walked right into the kitchen nodding at my sister only to scream when I saw a little girl our age sitting next to Azazel. Now being six I was always listening to other people and caught up on all cuss words and how to use them. "WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?" I yelled backing away. But there was only a few words I heard from my sister as I took in the girls' beauty. She had beautiful black hair and stunning icey blue eyes. She had good curve for a six year old and she had a beautifully defined face. Out of no where she gave a slight smile and a tiny wave. "Shes so cute! " My mind said on repeat. My sister was explaining and not knowing the statements were in my head I yelled out the only way I knew how make the voices stop. "Shut Up!" I screamed and my sister and Elizabeth jumped back scared. "What happened?" I asked completely confused. "Y-Y-Y-you yelled shut up. Azazel was just explaining why I was here. Are you mad?" Elizabeth explained and at the last sentence started to cry. "I'm so sorry there were so many voices and thats the only way they ever go away. I'm so sorry!" I had run over to her and gave her the sweetest hug I could muster without her grazing my cuts. "I forgot," I started, "My name is Damon. You probably were confused as to who I was..." my voice trailed off. "He don't look anything like what you said!" She yelled to Azazel. Now being only six I was offended. "And whats that supposed to mean?" I snapped. "Oh, I'm sorry, its just that you look alot cuter in person. I was expecting something ugly!" She giggled. "I just want to kiss her!" "God her laugh is so cute!" "I wonder if she likes me?" Those were the first. "Well I just came out to get food and drinks, talk to you later. Bye!" I told her that and felt so stupid. "Bye!" She giggled. I grabbed everything I needed and ran to my room. Thats when the cause of my cuts were formed. "Of course she doesnt like you" " Such a useless faggot" "cut cut cut" " cut deep enough to make a scar this time" They were right though. I only cut lightly enough to bleed. They never stayed. But i kept it that way, even now that I'm 16. I dont need that much attention. But it does get really sore.  I put my food and drinks away and locked up my blades so I didnt cut twice in one day. There was no more room on my thighs. When I was eight I got my first phone and so did Azazel and surprisingly Elizabeth. I overheard her number at the store and wrote it down on my phone. (E=Elizabeth D=Damon)
D: Hey!
E: I'm sorry, but who is this?
D: Just some friend of yours. I wanna tell you something but if you know who I am you would hate me.
E: Ok mystery boy. What did you want to tell me?
D: You can call me Damien. A name no one calls me.
E: Ok. So your confession?
D: I kinda like you.
D:You have no idea how long that took me to write.
E: Can I tell you something too?
D: Sure, WE SHOULD BE SECRET PALS!
E: What do you mean?
D: Like we tell each other secrets and tell no one else!
E: Ok!
D: Ok secret pal, what is did you want to tell me!
E: I kinda like my best friends brother
E: Your right, that does take forever to write.
D: Gtg, ttyl
E: Ok...
Seen at 17:25
"Shes lying you ugly ass fag" she could have another best friend. I thought nothing of it. Until a week later. Me and Elizabeth talked non stop and had grown quite fond of each other and one day I was incredibly stupid and texted Elizabeth while we were in the car. We had picked up on of my mom's friends so I had to sit in the back. I sat on the right, Elizabeth sat in the middle, and Azazel sat on the left. My fingers typed over the letters
" H E Y (SPACE) W Y D? " and being stupid me I sent it. A few mins later "ding" Elizabeth's phone got a notif. "Worthless fag she's gonna know you are her secret admirer"
"Cut cut cut cut cut!" The voice started off at a wisper but with each word the grew louder and louder.
"Mom can I borrow your earbuds?" I asked hoping she had a pair so I could blast my ears with music. "Sorry honey, I left mine at home today, but maybe one of the girls have a paur with them." She was trying to sound casual but she knew somewhere inside her that I like Elizabeth. "Hey Azazel," I started, "No i dont have any earbuds." She finished. My dreaded time. "She wont have any" "she will think your stupid" "she will hate you" "cut cut cut cut cut." Once again they started off as a wisper but got louder and louder. "Hey Elizabeth," I started waiting for her to answer. "Yeah Damon?" She replied. "Few she's not mad" "um..." i scratched the back of my neck " do you have any earbuds i could borrow."the question was filled with awkwardness but luckily she replied sort of quickly. "Yeah i do acctually. I was going to listen to music in the car but my phone got down to 10 before i could." And with that she got out a pair of white earbuds and handed them to me. "Here!" She giggled and I swear I saw her blush. She hadn't seen the text I sent her and hopefully she wont know I sent it.  But right now I didnt care, I unlocked my phone unaware Elizabeth saw my password and blasted Migrane by Twenty One Pilots. (song played at beginning) The next day was Monday, and we had to go to school at the time I was in 3rd grade. And little did I know that day would end up being amazing. On May 22, Elizabeth came and knocked on my door. At firstI thought it was my sister coming to complain about Neal, but when I threw my door open screaming "COMING!" My face softened and I told her to come in. While I was closing the door I gave her a hug. We talked for hours and by that time it was 8 o'clock and I was getting sleepy. "Hey, do you wanna sleep in here tonight?" I asked her feeling stupid. "Sure!" She squealed. "I'm gonna go get clothes real quick brb!" She called and ran out of the room. When she got back I offered her my bed and she happily accepted. I grabbed a few pillows and a blanket out of my closet and started to set up a mini bed on my floor. "What are you doing?" She asked. "You can sleep on my bed and I'll sleep on the floor!" I explained. "It's only fair." She was laughing and got down from my bed. She started to put the pillows away. "You can sleep on the bed with me, it's no problem to me!" She called. "Now help me put away the blanket silly!" She giggled. "Um... ok!" I called blushing a tad bit. I helped her fold and put away the blanket. I then noticed that I was still in my clothes. "Hey I'll be right back ok?" I said gathering my pyjamas. "You don't have to go!" She said. "I'll just cover my eyes." She finished. "Are you sure?" I asked unsure. "Yeah." She was confident. "Ok, fine." I gave in and told her to close her eyes. When she put her hands over her eyes I started to pull off my pants. I then pulled off my boxers. Afterwards I pulled up a new pair of boxers and pulled on my pyjama pants. I told her she could open her eyes as i was pulling off my shirt. I looked up and she was blushing. Then we climbed in bed and cuddled under the covers. Little did I know later that night she opened my phone and saw my greatest fear. Her knowing I was Damien. Well thats all the interesting details of my life. Anyone else?