You're Up Awfully Late {Septiplier}

Just for the Apology

Ken's face falls at the sight of tears, his anger dissolving into shame. "Oh god, Jack, I'm so sorry."

"Leave me alone!" Jack screams. "Leave me the fuck alone! Get the hell out!"

"Jack," Ken offers softly, gently touching the Irishman's shoulder.

Jack jerks away, as if Ken touch burned him. He pulls his knees to his chest, red eyes glaring at the black haired man. "I said leave. I don't care about you or Felix or Mary or Marzia. Just... leave me alone."

Jack's hiccuped breath turn back to cries as he drops his forehead to his knees, hiding his face as he sobs. His throat burns, eyes itch, jaw aches. His entire body shutters with each crying exhale, shakes with every gasped inhale.

Guilt stabs at Ken's heart, any hope at turning his back long gone. The older man gently drops down beside Jack, ignoring how the other scoots away from him. He gives a long sigh, looking away because the sight of his friend sobbing is too much to bear.

"You want to know why I thought Felix told you?" Ken asks softly, clashing his hands so he can pretend they're not shaking.

Jack makes no indication that he cares to know, let alone even heard him. But, it doesn't stop Ken from continuing as if he received a reply.

"Felix has been wanting to tell you what's going on for a long time," Ken admits. "He trusts you to keep it a secret, knew you of all people won't judge him. I mean, you're probably one of his best friend. Though he's been feeling a little left out at his convention. But I guess that makes sense. Ya know, with you and Mark."

Jack has quieted a bit, his tears coming a bit lighter as they roll down his cheeks. He can't believe Felix would trust him with such a secret, especially after how he reacted when he found out.

"And it's not that big of a deal," Ken continues. "The whole you and Mark thing. I mean, good job because Mark's super hot, but I'll keep my mouth shut. I know how important it is for stuff like this to stay quiet."

"But don't tell Felix I said Mark was hot," Ken adds. "He gets jealous really easily."

Jack chuckles, sudden and weak. Even though he is still upset, he can't help but giggle at the thought of Felix getting jealous at such an off handed comment. But it is just like the Swede to protect what his, even if it really isn't his.

"You don't have to forgive me," Ken sighs. "I don't expect you to. But, you have to understand that you kinda backed me into a corner. Like, I have a lot on the line if this gets out. And I'm beyond terrified that Mary is going to find out. We're having a baby, Jack. This isn't exactly the time to address the fact that I've been cuddling up with my best friend."

"I get it," Jack whispers, voice hoarse and pained from crying. "I won't tell. I promise."

Ken gives a sigh of relief. "Thank you."

"How do you do it?" Jack asks, sounding defeated. "How do you go from this at convention to acting like nothing every happened at home?"

The older chuckles humorlessly. "First time, huh?"

"The last convention, when we all got drunk, that was the first time we ever did anything," Jack admits. "And when we left, we just stop talking. Basically pretended like the other didn't exist. And I can't live like that."

"It gets easier with time," Ken assures. "You come here, you get your fill, you go back, you wait until the next convention. Wash, rinse, repeat. You call when it feels like it's been too long. Skype when it gets really bad. It's not so hard when you have a routine."

"I don't know if I can do that," Jack breathes.

"You'll find out when we go home tomorrow," Ken assures. "Nothing does it quite like the distance."

"Do you love him?" Jack asks, rather suddenly.

"I don't think it's about that," Ken dismisses.

"But do you?" Jack presses.

"That's not important," Ken insists, stiff.

"Would you leave her for him?" Jack continues, pushing. "If Felix said he loved you, would you drop everything for him?"

"I should go," Ken frowns.

"You didn't answer my question, Ken," Jack notes.

"I don't have to answer any of your questions," Ken counters, clearly agitated.

"Why won't you answer?"

"Because I have a baby on the way," Ken reminds him, stern. His voice is at a normal volume, but it feels as if he is yelling. "Because Mary and I are engaged. Because I have my entire life ahead of me and whether or not I love Felix doesn't change any of that."

"You would then," Jack decides, chin on his raised knees.

Ken huffs, pushing himself from the couch. He pauses before taking the first step, looking back over his shoulder.

"If you tell anyone about this," he threats, voice low, "I'll tell everyone about you and Mark."

"I won't tell," Jack responses, attempting to ignore how his heart lurched at the threat. "Even if you won't tell the world about us."

Ken stops in his tracks, giving a long, low exhale. He turns back to Jack, tucking his hands into the pockets of his pants: the same pants he was fighting with on the way into Jack's panel.

"I won't tell anyone," Ken assures. "I promise. On my life. I'm sorry it has to be... like this."

Jack nods, understanding but not wanting to. "I just hope you're happy, Ken. Whenever you decide to be."

Ken pauses for a long moment before simply nodding. "I've gotta go," he insists, seeing his way out, leaving Jack to sit in the couch with swollen eyes.

Jack: can I come over?

Mark: yes of course

With that, Jack pulls himself from the couch, exertion sending pain through his back. He strides from his room, down the stairs, and to Mark's door in no time at all. With a confident knock, Mark is at the door in a second, eyes going wide at the sign of Jack's tear stained cheeks.

"Oh my god, Jack, what happened?" Mark asks, already sick with worry.

Jack just shakes his head, stepping inside the dark room. He takes Mark's hand and leads him to the bed without a word. Slipping beneath its covers, he makes grabby hands for the American, willing him down.

"Cuddle with me," Jack pouts.

Though Mark is horribly concerned at Jack's red rimmed eyes, he joins the Irishman, pulling the small, pale frame firmly against his chest. Jack gives a content sigh, burying his nose into Mark's warmth. Mark rubs lazy circles into Jack's back with his fingertips, messaging the strain from his muscles.

"I want to talk about what happened before you leave," Mark mentions softly, trying not to push the green haired man too hard.

Jack nods, inhaling deeply to surround himself with Mark's scent. "I know. But just let me enjoy this right now."