Falling Apart

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by Foggy_baby

by Foggy_baby

Butterfly kisses across my nose
Teardrops on the bathroom floor
Gentle smiles
Puffy eyes
Your scent brushing against my skin
Soft fabric
Overwhelming cold.

A single phrase blew up the world
That you built around me.
"You never mattered to me anyway."
None of this mattered?
I meant nothing to you?
Was I little more than a toy for your amusement?

You made my soul catch fire,
Made me actually feel something.
I fell hard and fast for you
You dropped me on a dime.
I was drunk on your affection
Filled with lazy love
You left me alone,
Without a hint of dissatisfaction.

Thoughts of you keep me up at night.
I can't sleep,
Can't eat,
Can't forget your fingers brushing against my skin.
I scratch away the sensations
Until my skin cracks and scars over
Trying to push you away.
I cry until my tears disappear
Scream until my lungs give out
I'm falling apart
And you're the completed puzzle.

I tried to cut ties to you,
But came crawling back.
I'm disgusted that I even considered
That you would take me back
When you never wanted me in the first place.

I try and try to make things better
But you don't care.
I never gave you any satisfaction,
But I thought that it was okay.
It's obvious now that all you wanted
Was a body to lie with,
A toy with whom you could play
Whenever the need arose.

I fell for the affection you gave me,
Expecting it to be love.
You turned it around to use me
For your own devices,
To fill the void you felt inside.
You destroyed your emptiness
And filled me with the gaping abyss
That you once called home.

I helped make you whole,
Detached pieces of myself
To try and fix you.
You left me in shreds,
While you walked away
Better than before we met.

I'm a mess without you,
And you're doing fine.
I guess that shows who really cared about us.
It shows what actually mattered.
It obviously wasn't me this time.