this is not a diary

sad sad

16/10/17

that's a ratboy song, listen to it.

that's it uh

well not really.

Okay so somehow, everything messed up.
Even though there was no way for it to have been my fault it is supposedly my fault. I've proper played detectives with it and everything I've said checked out.
It wasn't me.

It wasn't fucking me and it hurts.

I can't go to anyone about this I can't talk about it at all I can just be really vague on this piece of fucking bullshit and then sit in my room doing fuck all because if I interfere it'll get worse and I don't want it worse I just want it back to normal because it was all working smoothly and I was happy at the same time as everyone else being happy and you don't even know how rare it is for that to happen.

I mean, it does explain why it didn't last.

Am I even allowed to have anything work right anymore did the sky go orange as a warning is there going to be another June am I the fucking Freddie have I been it all along why is Sam trying to talk to me again why can't it go back to before the weekend everything was good before then.

Why doesn't anyone believe what I say anymore I know I'm fucking terrible I know that but I try and the very fact that I've not attempted to interfere should show that I'm working hard at keeping this alright for you even if it's not for me.

I don't deserve fucking anything the whole fucking universe knows I worked hard and was good this whole time and everything still messed up

Fuck it time to learn how to do sampling and shit

-

Also I got my name legally fucking changed but that can't even be a good because I'm half stealth and then the rest just don't fucking care anyway.