Avalanche

AVALANCHE (FIFTEEN)

DUMAAN ako sa fashion house ng paborito kong local fashion designer right after lunch para sa final fitting ng gown ko sa darating na annual charity ball ng Ventura. I was happy with the dress. It was exactly how I imagined it would be. It was perfect.

I have a simple taste when in comes to gowns. Ayaw ko ng masyadong magarbo at agaw-pansin. If I wanted to steal the spotlight, I can steal it with my mere existence. I don't need sparkly dresses to stand out. I can wear a trash bag and still be the star.

"Mamsh, parang gusto ko laliman pa ang neckline..." I said to Stuart Del Valle, the ever so classy fashion designer who is also a friend, habang umiikot ako sa harap ng full-length mirror suot ang gown.

Stu rolled his eyes. "First of all, stop calling me 'Mamsh' or 'Mamshie' or whatever that would give people more assumptions that I'm gay. Second, gaano pa ba kalalim ang gusto mo? Bukas na nga ang likod ng gown mo. Baka naman bombahin na ng daddy mo 'tong boutique ko kapag nakita ang 'itsura mo."

I giggled. He didn't sound like being called gay is offensive. He sounded more like he's tired of it. Mahirap man paniwalaan, Stu is straight. Kaya lang dahil sadyang marumi ang utak ng mga tao, people think that he's not. They all believe he's gay and that he's only scared to come out of the closet to keep his family's name clean because he came from a reputable clan of lawyers and doctors.

It's so disgusting that people think it's a shame and a stain to a person's family if he's gay. It's more disgusting that they're judging a person just because he pursue his dream and chose a career in a field dominated by mostly women and gays.

I mean, this is a new millennium. If women can be engineers or be in the military or be a president and lead a nation then, men can be fashion designers, too. All of us can be anyone we wish us to be. Dreams have no gender.

"Not to mention Leon might kick me out of Paradis if he finds out I made a gown like that for you. You're practically naked, Ava. Geez."

He's also a Paradis member. And I hate how they're all scared of Leon. Everyone considered his opinion like he's a god. Pati ako dinadamay nila. Nanulis ang nguso ko. "Kahit hanggang ibabaw lang naman ng pusod. Sige na, Stu?" Ungot ko, pinipilit pa rin ang lalim ng neckline na gusto ko.

"Hindi ka ba kakabagan niyan?"

Nginisihan ko siya.

Stu crossed his arms over his chest. "Ava, you have to balance the dress. Not every cut go together. Kung labas na ang balikat mo, dapat nga ay nakatago na ang ibang parte ng katawan mo. You don't have to bare your back, shoulders, legs, arms, chest, and stomach all at the same time. That's too much. Leave something for people's imagination. Always remember the rule of making them want more."

"But that's what I want."

"At isa pa, charity ball ang pupuntahan mo. Bumagay ka naman sa okasyon."

Inismiran ko siya. Now, he's preaching like I'm not a woman who has a good taste in fashion. He's talking as if I'm a fashion disaster! "Sige na! Kung gusto mo, pang-madre na ang ipasuot mo sa 'kin!"

Naiiling na inikutan niya ako ng mata saka tinaboy na. Marami pa daw kasi siyang kliyente na mas importante pa sa 'kin. That jerk. Kung hindi ko lang talaga gusto ang creations niya at kung hindi ko siya kaibigan ay sa kalaban niyang haute couture designer rin na si Claudia ako lalapit.

Simula doon ay dumiretso na ako sa bahay dahil paniguradong magsi-sintir na naman si Dad kapag na-delay ako ng uwi. Kahit na pasaway na anak ako, kahit papano ay sinusubukan ko pa ring intindihin sila. Alam ko naman na kapakanan ko lang ang iniisip nila.