If I Could Fly

Chapter 1

I wonder what he's thinking. All I wanna know is why he is looking at me. He never tries to talk to me unless he's harassing me. He's purposely pushed me over and trips me when I walk by. The way he is looking at me sends chills through my blood stream, but at the same time it's like my blood is boiling. My heart is racing so much that I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack and just fall dead in front of this boy. This boy that I've had this huge crush on since me and his step brother first became friends. Gees that was back in what, "6th grade," I silently whispered to myself. "What was that Harry?" Fuck, he heard me. What do I say, I can't just tell him that I've liked him since me and his brother became friends. Even though Niall knows that I have major feelings for his step brother, he's promised to never tell Louis. "It's nothing Lou," he cut me off by slamming his locker shut, "yeah right Harry, I heard you say something. Now what was it?" I have no clue what to say or even do. Have I mentioned​ that this is the same by who has picked on me and constantly harasses me? You wouldn't think that I'd like him after all the times he's made me feel so small and worthless. I have literally went home crying or ran to the bathroom after he's made me cry at school. I've battled depression ever since my dad walked out on my mom and I when I was in 5th grade. Needless to say I've always felt belittled and once I hit high school I started cutting and thinking of every way possible that I could kill myself. Louis Tomlinson keeps my heart happy but at the same time makes me feel so fucking stupid for liking him this much. There has been times when I sit alone in my room crying, wondering why my life sucks so much. All I think about is why my dad left, why Louis harasses me, why Louis makes me feel so small, how could I like someone who literally makes me feel like he could care less about me and that he'd never like me the way I do him.

"Harry!" Louis snapped me out of my thoughts, "Oh, Um. It's nothing Louis." I turned and went to walk away, but was pulled backwards. My books fell out of my hands and my papers flew all around. "God damn it Louis, why do you always fucking do this." I can't believe I let those words. By the look on Louis' face, I could tell he didn't believe it either. "Well you wouldn't answer my question Harry and all I wanted to say when I pulled you back, was that I'm sorry I'm always harassing you." I was literally dumb founded at the words that left his mouth. Louis Tomlinson just apologized for making feel like he hates me. Well he just apologized for harassing me, but still. I never thought the day he'd say sorry would ever come, but here it is. "God damn it Harry, I can't stand it when you get all quite when I'm talking to you." I watched as the words left his mouth, but didn't know how to respond, "I don't say that much to you. I get that, but every time I say one word to you, you seem to get lost in your own mind." I sighed and started picking up my belongings still not knowing what to say to the guy of my dreams. He's right though, I'm always losing myself in my own mind every time Louis says something to me or even around me. His voice is just so beautiful, it's literally like listening to an angel tell you a story before you go to bed. "I'm sorry Louis," I managed to get the words out just as he handed me the rest of my belongings that I hadn't yet collected. He stood up and put his hand out as a gesture to help me up, I took his hand and he helped me to my feet handing me a folded piece of paper. "It's okay lad, it just gets annoying sometimes." I couldn't help but blush like a freaking pathetic, idiot. He must've saw me blush because he laughed as he turned to walk away, "anyways harry, I have to go to my next class. I'll see you at my house like I always do," and with those words going through my mind, the boy was gone.

I started walking towards my art class just as Niall and Zayn came running up behind me making me stumble a bit when they started goofing off by hitting each other. "Harrrrrrrrrrrry," Zayn screeched making me wince a little because the sound hurt my ears, but the sound also made me always know that my only two best friends really love me. They're always making sure I'm okay and that I'm not cutting or trying to kill myself. Like I wasn't answering any of their phones calls last night because I was in the shower. I'm one of those guys who takes long showers, not because I like to sing, but because I stand there and ponder about the things that are bothering me a lot. Well because I never answered their phone calls they ended up coming to my house and literally ran through the house yelling my name and yelling empty threats that they would kick my ass if I was doing something stupid. "Yes Zayn," I said at the thought of last night. Hiding the fact that, I indeed had planned to kill myself. "Niall and I were talking earlier, and we've decided that we want you to decide what all we do tonight." I got to thinking of all the times that we played truth or dare and would you rather, but this time I didn't want to play those, "how about movie night?" I asked with a shaking voice not knowing why I was so nervous.

Niall's face lit up and I couldn't help but laugh when Zayn started giving him a hard time about his face lighting up. "Gees you and Niall are such chick flick people," we all three walked towards our next class laughing like hyenas. "I was thinking about watching scary movies all night and see which one of us get scared the most," I said looking at the only two friends I would ever want in my life. "Sounds damn good to me," Zayn said looking over at Niall. "I bet you'll get scared the most Niall," he said laughing while nudging my arm. I couldn't help but laugh, "I agree with Zayn. Now I would love to keep talking to you two, but we're all gonna be late to class," I looked at them smiling. Niall nodded his head just as the bell began to ring, "Well lads I will see you after this class," he said walking away to head to Physical Education. "Alright I'll see you two at my locker," Zayn yelled as he started to run down the hall towards Psychology that is in fact at the other end of this blasted school. I laughed to myself accidentally stabbing myself in the hand with a folded piece of paper. Oh yeah, Louis handed me this. Wait was it from my stuff that I dropped. Shit I don't remember having a piece of paper that was ever folded. I can't stand papers being folded or ripped a little and I can't stand it when it's all crumpled up. I walked into my art class, set down my stuff just as I sat down, and decided to see what was on this piece of paper that Louis himself had handed me. My heart started pounding in my chest and my hands were shaking terribly. Gees even when I'm not around the boy I'm still a nervous wreck. I unfolded the paper and stared at it for what seemed like ages.

I know you like me Harry Styles. I can read you like an open book. I'll see you tonight at my house. Love Always, Louis xx

I think I just fucking died. H-how does Louis know.... "How does he know that I freaking like him," I didn't realize that I had said it out loud until Mrs. Floode had cleared her throat and was looking at me just as I had looked up.

<3 Well here lies the first chapter to this new book of mine. I'm sorry if it sucks and if you guys think it's stupid, but here you go. I'll have chapter 2 up tomorrow. Much Love xx