Okikagu Short Stories

Heart Attack

-- Heart Attack by Demi Lovato --

"Never put my love out on the line, Never say yes to the right guy. Never get trouble getting what I want, but when it comes to you. I'm never good enough.."

Kagura was aware of the fact that she admired her rival,Sougo.It wasn't from the very start though she admit, but eventually she grew fond of him.Still, telling him the truth never crossed her mind. It would mean she lose to him but that was not the main point. She was already happy with what they have, it was enough and she don't want to risk losing it.

Kagura have a considerably perfect life, everything goes according to her will however when it comes to a certain sadist, it all comes crashing down. No matter how hard she attempts to make him look at her in a rather different way, failure is what she ends up in-- always.

"Hey China girl,what's with the make-over and get up?Got a party to go?"

"Why do you care anyway huh? Am I bothering you too much with my attributes? Say, have you realized you like me,yes?"

"What attributes are you talking about?Dream on, you must have taken my words the wrong way. I was just wondering about your new ridiculous job."

"What job are you talking about,sadist?"

"Eh? Aren't you going to the party to entertain guests as the clown?"

"When I don't care,I can play em' like a ken doll,won't wash my hair and make it bounce like a basketball"

Of course this would put her in a very sour mood. Kagura may act unaffected in front of Sougo but it was quite the opposite on the inside.But unlike other girls, this incites her instead. That's why their every conversation results to brawls.

Yeah, she should've just push aside his jeering and taunting but it was her weakness. She couldn't. Kagura is easily agitated and we all know that that's what fuels the sadist to tease her even more.

Sometimes- in all honesty- she can't resist the upset feeling that creeps into her veins. Her being mocked by the one she likes, c'mon its not like she can ignore that.

This makes her want to build her hard wall sturdier. She makes an effort on not seeing him and if it can't be help, she just think of all the negative things he posses in order to keep herself distracted every time he makes her heart flutter.

Kagura always had her pride as Sougo's rival and because of it, her inner self continuously reminds her that she is forbidden to be affected-at any forms or ways- in whatever that bastard says.

"But you make me wanna act like a girl, paint my nails and wear perfume.Yes you,make me so nervous that I just can't hold your hand"

But then she realizes that it's futile effort. She can't do anything about it.
She might stay at home for a couple of days or avoid coincidentally meeting him but she literally misses his company. Their spar. His arrogant jerk face. Her arguements with him.

Kagura knew she's getting out of character when she says that --she looks forward to their encounters, which is a fact. How she's genuinely frustrated and pissed about him the moment they're fighting and after that-when she gets home- she kind of flash their recent scene back in her mind, playing it repeatedly until she cools down and rest eventually.

This brazen little girl, never had been so conscious or concerned about her appearance. But then, she herself took notice of how she progressed ever since she met the guy. Now unlike before, she makes sure that she looks decent enough when going out because you may never know, she might bump into her rival again.

"You make me glow.But I cover up won't let it show.So I'm putting my defenses up,cause I don't wanna fall inlove,If I ever did that,I'd think I have a heart attack"

Yes, she won't deny it. The very truth of him inspiring her of who she is today. The cheerful smile that always hang on her face was partly because of him. The glow that radiates around her involves him, her very own enemy.

But the thing is. She doesn't want it to be that way. Kagura don't want to be all smiles and sunshines around his dark personality. Why? Because obviously, every effort will be put to waste. If she would act like that then it might seem that she's actually hinting him about her affection in a subtle way.

It's not like her. And she knew it. That's why, she'll put more and more effort. Work harder to place her defense wall, for it not to break and suddenly spill all the beans.

"Never break a sweat for the other guys,when you come around I get paralyzed.And everytime I try to be myself,It comes out wrong like I cry for help..."

Yup. She does have that relationship with Gin and Shinpachi but it's specially considered as familial, very far from the affection she feels for a particular sadist. She's very proud of herself actually, getting this far despite the fact that she's dealing with him,a certified prince of sadism.

Be yourself. That's the common solution she hears almost everywhere, including her Anego. But who was she? What is she like? What kind of things does she do? Kagura don't even have the tiniest clue on what she is. And in the first place, what good can this contribute if the things you acquire and who you really are are opposed to very much every thing he likes.

Seriously, this is completely foolish. Just look how hopeless she is, how desperate she is to get his attention and maintain their relationship. She just hope it wouldn't show. It would be shameful if ever her facade gets to let a particle of her true feelings escape.

"It's just not fair,pain's more trouble than love is worth.I gasp for air,it feels so good but you know it hurts!"

Truly, pain's more trouble than love is worth. This absolutely matched Kagura's case. Like, there's this unrecognizable part of her conscience that insists her that someway, she could have a chance with him but the bigger part that tells her it's impossible and absurd easily subdues it.

She don't stop regardless of the fact that she can hardly see their relationship developing and sadly their rivalry on the other hand was intensely high. Its almost like she's turning into a masochist for him and that doesn't sound right to her ears. But yeah apparently she won't cease to annoy him, its her daily needs. To see him agitated at times causing her to be the one defeated at the end. Kagura doesn't care yeah, that's what she thought.

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If you have any songs to suggest that relates to their relationship, feel free to comment okay? :">