White Dragon Stories

The fall and the rise

Hakuryuu had struggled a lot in his life. Everyone struggled once in a while – some more, some less. He was one of those who struggled more. This was partly his own fault for not trusting anyone anymore, but it was only logical after what he had been through. Seeing how your own soldiers, those who should protect you and your family from harm, attack and murder your family, was something that would destroy every single bit of trust in a person. Worse when you found out, who was behind the murder, who had plotted it. When your own mother wanted you and your siblings dead, it was hard to trust anyone else, who wasn't as close as your own family. Hakuryuu had trusted once and was heavily betrayed. How should he know, who was on his side and who was not? They all were his enemy. He could see it in their eyes, how they looked down on him, how they had turned their back on him. They had someone new to follow and did not care about what really had happened to the former emperor, they did not care about Hakuryuu, because they thought he did not fit as king – in their eyes he was too weak, yet he was nothing but a six year old child, how should he be as strong as a grown up? Nevertheless, he survived and struggled. To make sure he was not seen as threat, he had to keep a low profile. No one was allowed to know about his plans to take back the throne from the usurper. He had no allies, not even the remaining relatives could be trusted. All of them acted as if nothing had happened, as if the fire and the assassination of the former ruler were just unfortunate incidents. How could he trust any of them, when they acted like that? Maybe his life would have been easier, if he had been able to trust someone.

However, no matter how hard he struggled, he never had fallen. Somehow he always managed to stay strong, to walk tall. It was hard to do so, but he had a goal and for this he would do whatever it took. For them it would be a great pleasure to see him on his knees and he was not willing to give them that pleasure. One day they would be the ones on their knees, begging him for forgiveness, for mercy. What a beautiful thought. Until then he would held his head high, while trying to play the obedient fourth prince.
Unfortunately, life was a bitch and Hakuryuu's struggle only became more and more with the years. It was easy to tell yourself that soon things would get better, things were easier when you saw an end to it, yet there was no end for Hakuryuu. With every passing day things became harder and harder. At first he still had his sister at his side, but she decided to become a general and conquered a dungeon. She wanted to fight for the empire – for those who had killed her family, because she was clueless. Of course, he tried to get that idea out of her head, but it was in vain – he could not tell her about their family, couldn't tell her, who really was behind the murder. And so, when she joined the army and led them into wars, he was alone. Alone in a place filled with enemies, with people who would not hesitate to kill him, if necessary. In the aftermath it might have been better, if he had told his sister everything from the start, instead of keeping her in the dark. However, back then he had thought it was saver for her to not know anything. Would she have been able to handle the truth? What would she have done? Joined him or ignored it and still followed the same path as their family's murder? She was too kind and forgiving. Hakuei hadn't been there, when their brothers had been killed. It hadn't been her, who had heard their last words, their last wish. He had been there and had heard it. The truth was hard to accept – but the truth was the truth. Now he regretted that he hadn't told her. Although it was just an assumption, but just thinking that things could have been easier was enough to make him feel regret. Less people would have suffered. The past was the past and could not be changed anymore, but he could remember it for the future, so he wouldn't make the same mistake again.

Despite all the struggle he had never fallen on his knees – well, at least until he realized he was on his own and had to fall –, because until then he always had something or someone he could hold onto. Either he clung to the dream of everything coming to an end soon or by believing his sister was on his side and would support him, when the time came. But on the day he fell or better said was ready to let himself fall into the darkness, his dreams and hopes had been crushed. His sister had rejected him and he had been shown how weak he really was. Judar had offered him a helping hand. The price? His sanity. Between Judar's offer and his decision to fall laid a few days. Days in which he had hoped for his sister to join his side, but instead she distanced herself from him. She had betrayed him. Hakuei was on the side of their family's murder. And so he was on his own again, but this time not just for a short amount of time, this time it was forever. Maybe he should have talked to her again and tried to understand her, tried to make her understand him, but he hadn't. In his narrow minded thinking he only divided into "allies" and "enemies". All those who weren't on his side were enemies – and there were a lot of them. Back then he had never thought his only ally would be the black Magi, who was raised by the priests, who was raised by the witch, who he wanted to see dead. Judar was a part of Al-Thamen, a puppet of the witch, and definitely the last person one had thought to side with Hakuryuu, although it was obvious that Judar liked Hakuryuu a lot. For many years he had tried to convince Hakuryuu to conquer a dungeon with him and was rejected ever damn time. Still he hadn't given up. His stubbornness bore fruits. After being rejected by everyone Hakuryuu had loved and cared about, betrayed by his family and supposed friends, Judar was the only one left, who was willing to go down to hell with him and kill the witch. The person he once had considered an enemy was now his only ally. Quite ironic. Of course, allies did not mean friends and Hakuryuu knew that they only worked together to achieve a common goal, afterwards they would go different ways again and may also become enemies. Being alone was nothing uncommon for him anymore, thus he was ready to walk alone again. Until then he had to ensure not to fall in front of Judar. The Magi would turn his back on him as soon as he showed a weakness. He had to proof Judar that he was no one to toy with and that he did not need anyone. How childish.
In the end he had started to see Judar more and more as a friend and slowly realized how much he had wronged the other one, who had never changed his behavior towards him. Hakuryuu had always been Hakuryuu to Judar, no matter what position in the empire he had hold. So the pain Hakuryuu had felt – and tried to suppress – was the pain one had to endure when losing a good friend. Somehow the word "friend" had not crossed his mind back in those days, but now he would use it without thinking much.

Falling into depravity didn't change him much, at least this was what Hakuryuu thought. All he did was giving in to his desire to avenge his brothers and his father. Yes, he became crueler and ruthless, but this was needed so he had a chance against Arba and her follower. He hadn't come far with being kind and mindful. It was just holding him back. In the beginning he had felt bad about it, but the more he gave in to the darkness and the more he saw how everyone was pretending everything was fine, he felt right in his decision. There was no other way to reach his goal and others had their chance to make a move against the usurper. Now it was him and Judar, who would take down the world's worst enemy –but they knew no one would thank them for it, because they would have done it for their own personal gain and not for the so called "greater good". How many people had been murdered for the "greater good"? There was no greater good, only maniacs hiding behind these two words. He would not hide behind words, he would do what he thought was right and for whatever reason he had. Hakuryuu did not need a greater good to justify himself. He would take the consequences without complain as always.
After losing Judar Hakuryuu had almost fallen on his knees again, but he was able to get a hold of himself. The black Magi had offered him a hand, when he had been on the bottom and had helped him to get up on his feet again. Falling again was like a punch in the face of his helper. If he had fallen, Judar's help would have been in vain, would have been meaningless – all they had done until that point would have been meaningless and Hakuryuu would have died. His family had made it clear that he was not welcomed in case he wanted the throne. They had made it clear they would get his head in case he wanted to enforce his birth right. For him there was only the way ahead, making a step back would mean his death. He didn't want to die. Like everyone else he wanted to live, he wanted to live a life in freedom. Freedom was something so important, but hard to achieve. So many people out there wanted to take freedom away from others. Wasn't this sad? Maybe he would have been sad, if he had cared about those other people, who were suppressed. He was fighting against his oppression and would never let anyone dedicate his life. Hakuryuu was done with that. From now on he would only follow his own will and not that of someone else.

It was a good feeling to raise higher and higher. It felt so great not to be on the bottom anymore, not to be stamped on. Even when Judar had died, he did not fall, even when Sinbad's new world order messed his empire up, he did not fall, even when the conflict between Sinbad, Arba and them – Aladdin, Morgiana and Hakuryuu – got worse, he did not fall. He never fell down on his knees again, never fell into the darkness again. It was hard to stay tall and walk on without his only friend at his side, but he was strong enough to hold on. Someday they would meet again, he was sure of that. All he had to do was to wait patiently. While he waited he would get stronger, so he could be the helping hand for someone else, just like Judar had been his.
Normally one would raise and then fall, but he had fallen first and then he rose up – doing it this way was much better. Now that he was no longer at the bottom and he had no intention of going there ever again.