B for Babies

28

Meredith could only remember the rescue in flashes, she could remember being in some of the worst pain she'd ever experienced, her vision going white as she tried to focus on her surrounds. The sound of machinery zooming around her until she blacked out, Alex's panicked voice was what she could remember the clearest. Now that she was conscious again she had to take a moment to figure out her surroundings, she reached down to touch her stomach, she was still bulging in all the right places but everything felt different, she couldn't feel her baby moving inside of her, couldn't figure out what was wrong. Her eyes opened instantly, she tried to sit up but her body was too frail, an exhaustion had taken over her and she didn't understand why.

Alex jolted forward from the chair he was sitting on. He had been waiting hours for her to wake up, sitting beside her bed in the hospital suite filled with worry. He hadn't slept all night, he just didn't have it in him to close his eyes. He needed to be there when she woke, and now that she was awake he still didn't know if he would be able to settle himself down. He thought that she had died in that elevator and yet here she was staring back at him and he still felt like he was seeing a ghost. "The baby is upstairs; Robbins is keeping an eye on him." Alex told her, fingers wrapping around Meredith's hand tightly. He leaned forward to kiss at her exposed shoulder right where her gown had fallen. He didn't know what else to update her on, Nathan was fine, apart from being a shaken up from the fall he didn't have so much as a scratch on him, that pissed Alex off the most. Meredith could have died, and if he wanted to get technical it was Nathan's baby who did that to her.

"He?" Meredith asked quietly, small smile spreading over her chapped lips. "I thought.." She had thought for sure that this baby was going to be a little girl, the ultrasounds never indicated that he had a penis, and she stopped looking for one eventually. This was something that she was happy about, something they could both be happy about. All of the thoughts she had about Arizona spilling the truth were gone. She wasn't worried about anything other than the safety of her child, and possibly the safety of her own life too.

Alex nodded his head, his own smile erupted across his face. They had another little boy in their life. He had been present for all of Meredith's children becoming a part of her life. Zola taught Meredith how to be the best mother she could be, and with the addition of every new arrival Alex watched his best friend turn into the kind, nurturing person she was today, sure she was mostly only that way with her children, but every so often he saw her looking out for Amelia, or Maggie, and even him sometimes. She was his favourite person, the one and only person he wanted to share this with. A secret this big would hurt more people than he wanted to know, and right now none of that mattered, their child was safe, he was happy and healthy, and Meredith survived the whole thing. He stood up and fussed with all of the pillows behind Meredith's head, he needed to make sure she was comfortable now. He knew she was safe, knew her baby was doing fine, so now he just needed to make sure that she was comfortable. "I'll go see if we can bring him down here." He told her, leaning down to kiss her forehead this time. He knew Arizona might deny his request to move the baby, but he was going to try it regardless. Meredith was in no condition to move right now, but she deserved to see her child for the first time. He was going to do that for her.

Meredith simply nodded her head. She reached out to wrap her fingers around his wrist as Alex started to pull away. No words left her lips but she knew he understood how grateful she was for everything, for all that he has done and all that he will do for her. She let go and watched him leave, a heavy sigh fell from her lips. She felt empty inside, but her heart was full. She needed to see her children again soon, she needed to be home with all four of them but that wasn't going to happen tonight. Tonight she had to sleep alone in this hospital bed, surrounded by other mothers in rooms across the hall, on either side of these walls. She didn't want to be here on her own, but this was her reality now. She knew that everything would fall apart again soon, she couldn't have one happy moment without knowing what was to come just around the corner, Arizona still knew the truth, and when Arizona Robbins had something she was like a dog, she wouldn't let it go.

It didn't take as long as she expected, Alex was soon wheeling her baby in, their baby. She sat herself up propped against the many pillows Alex had arranged for her before, she held her arms out waiting for him to pass over her son, her tiny beautiful son, so pure, so innocent, he didn't know that his existence was messy, or how everything could change. She was tired and her body was sore, but having her newborn son in her arms made her feel like nothing else mattered, she looked up at Alex and flashed him another tired smile. "He still doesn't have a name." She pointed out. Her previous babies had all been named after people in her life, and maybe if things were different she would have chosen the name of the man she admired the most, or the man who was sitting at the foot of her bed, but after all she had done, she didn't think she could name her bastard child after the first love of her life, she couldn't dedicate all of her sins to Derek, with a child that wasn't even his. She couldn't name him after his father, or the man she appointed as his dad, she didn't know what to name him and for the first time in this entire pregnancy, this was the only problem she cared about.

"We'll think of one" Alex assured her, hand resting upon the foot she had buried beneath her hospital blankets. He knew the perfect name would come to her, she wouldn't need his help in making the decision, he just wanted to sit here and admire the woman in front of him, the mother who was meeting her child for the first time, the woman he was falling for.