Our never-ending conversation ( A Doki Doki Literature Club Fanfic)

Chapter 1: Hey There!

"Woah, so that's what you look like," As I came to my senses, I looked around the classroom. In front of me was her... Monika. She sat, her hands folded, she smiled back at me... just like the ending scene from the game.

"Well, yeah, for the most part," I felt around my face, feeling it. I reached up and grabbed one of my dreads, rubbing my thumb against my coarse hair. "If I had a mirror I could tell you exactly, but just from feeling around I can say... this is pretty close."

"Interesting... well, you're handsome, just as I expected," She tilted her head slightly, and closed her head in typical anime fashion.

"But didn't you say that you didn't even know I was a girl? Would you use handsome to describe a girl?"

"I could, there would be nothing wrong with that, don't be so close-minded, Riku."

"Richard," I corrected.

"Huh?" She tilted her head the other way, this time in confusion.

"Richard... It's my real name," I shrugged for some reason.

She frowned. "Oh... so... why did you change it to Riku for the game? Seems kind of weeby to me."

"I think you're on the internet too much," I sighed, cracking my neck before looking straight at her again. "Riku, is basically my name in Japanese. I mean, it's Rick in Japanese. And I was thinking that because I'm supposed to be Japanese in the game that I'd... y'know."

"Oh, I understand. So... Richard?"

"Ah, we can drop the formalities, go ahead and call me Ricky," I put on an awkward smile.

She smiled, blushing slightly. "I'm glad... Ricky," she looked up in thought for a moment before staring back at me. "So, why are you here?"

"Hm? What do you mean?"

"Up until now I was talking to an open chair, that was supposed to simulate me talking to you directly, but all of a sudden, you're here in front of me... why?"

"Well, believe it or not, I actually already finished the game... I did everything I had to do, and now I'm back, to talk to you."

"Finished the game? But I can't... I'm reading the script and-"

"Forget the script, we're no longer operating on that... Well, we kinda are and we're kind of not."

"What do you mean?" She copied my tone from earlier.

I laughed at her playfulness. "I mean, the game is over. We're no longer in the realm... I suppose we're in my mind now."

"So you're talking to yourself... doesn't that make you seem kind of crazy?"

I scoffed. "You're the last one I want to hear that from."

She chuckled. "I suppose so..." There was a pause. I guess she just wanted to look at me. It was like she said in the game, she could just look at me forever. It was kind of flattering in a way. "That being said... why did you come back?"

"Because I wanted to talk with you. Last time it was a bit of a one-sided conversation, I figured that if I actually talked to you, I'd understand you better."

"Y-You want to understand me?" She blushed. "I didn't think that you'd actually care... To be honest I was fully aware that I was basically holding you hostage."

"Basically?"

She giggled nervously.

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. "But no... To be honest, I just felt... kinda bad for you. I could really tell just how lonely you really were... I'll admit, it made me feel sad that I never tried to hang out with you."

"Yeah, you were too busy trying to get with Yuuuuri," She said with a mocking tone.

It was my turn to laugh nervously. "What can I say? She was kind of my type."

She pouted, pursing her lips. "And I'm not your type?"

"Honestly, before all of this extra shit happened with you being all self-aware, I kinda thought you were boring."

"Hey!" Oops, she seemed a little pissed.

"I-I mean... All the other characters had a personality type, and I didn't really see where you fell into... Like what kind of 'Dere' you were," She gave me a sceptical look. "But after you pulled the whole 'I want to be with you forever' thing and you started deleting characters just to be with me I started thinking of how great of a character you are."

Her eyes opened, her face reddening with a bright blush. She pressed her hand to her chest, taking a deep breath. "I... I know I'm basically programed to love you, but you certainly have a way with words to keep me feeling that way."

"Thanks I guess... Anyway, like I was saying... I felt bad for you. I mean, a part of me knew you were just fiction... but there's always that part of you that wonders 'what if?' you know? Like, sometimes I wonder if my reality is a work of fiction too, I mean there'd be no way to find out, so it's kind of pointless to wonder about, but still... So In a way, I guess I could empathize with you."

She looked down at her desk. I couldn't tell what her expression was, but she looked downcast. "Are you sure it was empathy and not sympathy?"

"Does it really matter?" I questioned.

She continued to look down at the desk for a while before looking back up at me. Going back to her signature pose and smile. "You seem so much different, Ricky. I mean compared to Riku, you seem like another person entirely, yet I still love you."

"Yeah, I mean, I didn't share a lot of things with Riku. I mean, it's not like I could completely voice my opinions on what was going on. And unlike him, I remembered everything. Like when he caught Yuri cutting herself, did he even care? Because you brought it up moments later and he didn't even react."

"I think that's open to interpretation."

"I mean fuck, dude, this guy had NO Dialogue the second half of the game. In the heat of the moment, I didn't really notice it, but looking back at it, it was kind of odd."

"Well, I think the thought process was that you're the character at that point and not the actual. You know, character."

I nodded before going back into thought, staring into her green emerald eyes. "You know what really freaked me out the most? About this game?"

"Hm?" She raised an eyebrow.

"When Yuri got those goddamn photo-realistic eyes. And I'm not talking the smaller pupils because I can take that. I'm talking the eyes that weren't anime eyes, I'm talking really fucking eyes. I-"

"Hm? You stopped talking all of a sudden," She seemed genuinely worried.

"Yeah, actually, I have class tomorrow, so I have to go to sleep..." I was actually kind of sad, I had really gotten into a decent conversation with her.

She seemed sad, but she didn't let the smile leave her face. "That's fine, this is in your mind, so I'm always there."

I laughed. "You're right, that is kind of crazy sounding,"

"Indeed... Well, sweet dreams, I hope you dream about me tonight!"

"Yeah, hopefully, it's not a bad dream."