Lush Expiration | Harry Styles AU | BOOK 3 ✓

15

Harry Styles

''You told her?'' I asked Louis.

''Yes.'' Louis spoke. Then he lit a cigarette and placed it between his parted lips – taking one long drag. He didn't seem to care about what he had done.

I went with my hands through my hair. ''What now?'' I hissed.

''I don't know, Styles. This was your idea not mine. Perhaps tell her you're sorry and it was another stupid irrational idea of yours.''

''Louis.'' I begged.

''I'm serious, Harry.'' He said, and tapped on his cigarette above the ashtray. ''I get that the idea of Ethan and Vicky might make you feel different than normal.''

''It makes me feel uncomfortable – almost ready to vomit on your carpet.'' I cut Louis off.

''Let's not do that, okay?'' He said, and blew the smoke out of his mouth. ''Not long ago you told me you were deliberating in your mind to propose to Emma. Now, you suddenly feel the need to go after Vicky without admitting it.''

''I just came across the photograph, Louis.''

He rolled with his eyes. ''You went through a f.ucking box full of memories the two of you shared. Obviously, you are going to be haunted by whatever you had. It wouldn't surprise me if you had all of this planned out.'' He said and threw his hands up in the air dramatically.

I placed the documents in the left drawer of my desk and got a hold of the glass filled with whiskey. I moved it around and looked at Louis who was laying on the couch in the office. His foot was moving to the music, and I could hear him mumble the lyrics sluggishly.

''It shouldn't bother me that she's seeing Ethan.'' I admitted truthfully. ''But she's still my ex.''

''Yes, your ex.'' He said while making quotation marks with his fingers. ''That term already tells you that Vicky is from the past and not any of your concern. I don't want you to ruin her life again, Styles. Playing a minor role in her daily routine isn't such a problem, but I want you to let her be happy. Even if that isn't with you.'' He confronted me without any shame.

I had no idea where this behaviour came from, and I had no idea what was going to happen next. I didn't want to force myself into Vicky's life – that has not in the least been the plan. Since I was with Emma, I shouldn't yearn to be closer to Vicky. The both of us had put our past behind, but it looked like I was undergoing a phase that wanted to contradict whatever happened to us and that we could still work out.

I rubbed into my eyes. I was beyond frustrated that I let this happen – bringing her the photograph late at night.

I knew that Louis was watching me, and speculated how senseless his best friend could be.

The reason behind locking myself up in the office at home wasn't because I couldn't face Emma or anyone else. I solely craved to be alone from all the chaos. Withal, the mess in my head followed me wherever I went. Opening the box I had put away safely, wasn't something I should've done. It was thoroughly foolish that I thought it wouldn't affect me in any sort of way.

But I had continually been naïve, and I didn't think that part of me was going to change.

''Tell me what is going through your mind.'' Louis told me as he sat up and focused on me.

I huffed and felt like a failure. ''I just hate it that I'm doing this. My intention is not to shatterher life.'' I said honestly. There wasn't a bone in my body that craved to see Vicky hurt once more – again by me.

''I understand, but I don't think you genuinely know what you are doing.'' Louis spoke. ''Evidently, you've never let yourself reach the point where you know it's in entirety over between Vicky and you. You decided to leave her, and if you wanted her to be a part of the rest of your life you shouldn't have made that move in the first place.''