Make Me Feel Better, I Need To Feel Better (Reddie)

Chapter Eight

Richie

Over the next three weeks Eddie and I tried to adjust to being a couple. Things were going as they always did though. It was almost exactly the same as it used to be, pretty much all that had changed was the label. Eddie always seemed to get a little weird when I tried to so something like hold his hand or kiss him so I decided to confront him about it.

"Why are you acting all weird about affection since we started dating?" Eddie looked at me, his mouth opened and then closed. He seemed to think on it for a few moments before speaking. "It's just that I've never dated anyone or even really thought about it so now that I am, I'm kind of freaking out here. I know we've kissed before but it was one of those 'in the moment' things and I don't know Richie I'm just freaking out! I'm still worried about people finding out too so I'm afraid if we get used to doing stuff like that we might slip up in front of someone." 

"But I've always been really affectionate towards you, even when we were kids." I pointed out to him. Even when we were kids I'd hug him all the time or do things like make him hold my hand if we were walking around somewhere dark. It was totally normal for everyone to witness me giving Eddie affection. "Yeah but what if you accidentally kiss me or call me baby or--"

"You're going to give me a fucking aneurysm one day kid. You worry way too much. I wouldn't do anything to risk losing you after I've waited so long to have you Eddie." I wanted to tell him that I loved him but I felt like that would just freak him out more so I held it back. He let out a soft sigh and wrapped both of his arms around me. I wrapped one of my arm around him and pulled him close to me. We were sitting on my bed, the movie we were watching was long past forgotten. "I know Richie. I'm just worried." I hated that I couldn't do much to ease his mind but that's how Eddie was. Once he was in a panic about something he normally stayed in a panic. 

I was worried because it would eventually make our relationship not work if I wasn't able to convince him that the world wasn't going to come crashing down on us if people found out. I didn't want to lose him, now or ever. "Everything is going to be okay Eddie. I can keep my mouth shut about us and I can refrain from doing boyfriend like things with you in front of our friends, no matter how much it bothers me. But what I don't think I can handle is you shutting down on me when it's just us. Like I said, I wouldn't do anything to ruin this and I wouldn't do anything to make life harder for you." 

I was being pushed onto my back all of a sudden and the next thing I knew I had soft lips pressed to mine. The kiss was short because the moment I tried to deepen it the small boy pulled back. "Easy there Rich, not that kind of kiss." He laughed at me and I let out a whine. "But maaaaaaan." I pouted at him and he just snuggled into my side, giggling the whole time. He was honestly the cutest thing in the fucking world and I couldn't recall a time where I didn't feel that way. Even when we were kids I thought he was such a cutie. I discovered not way too long after I hit puberty that I didn't really like girls. I also discovered that I really  liked Eddie. It made it awkward for me for a little while but I eventually got used to my feelings. 

"Y'know I've had a crush on you since I met you I think. Even at that age I thought you were adorable. I remember the first time I got my ass kicked because of you. We were 8 years old and Henry had just moved to town. You were so little he immediately tried to make you his punching bag. Then me, being the super awesome best-friend I am stepped in and took your ass kicking for you. He used to be so much bigger than me but I was never scared of him because I knew I had to protect you. You got super mad at me and told me you could stand up for yourself. So the next time it happened I let you and you got hurt. I felt so bad about it I tried my best to never let it happen again. Once you wised up you finally stopped getting mad at me for 'babying' you as you liked to call it. Even then I think I felt something for you. I don't know maybe I'm being stupid but I can't help feeling like we were always meant to be together."

Eddie started to make gagging noises. "My ears cannot handle this level of sap." I rolled my eyes at the smaller boy because I knew he was just messing with me. Trying to get me back for all the moments I'd ruined between us by trying to inject humor into the situation. "You're lucky I love you or I'd kick your ass." I mumbled without even thinking about what I was saying. No matter how close we were I had NEVER told Eddie that I loved him. Not one fucking time so in short, uh-oh.