Make Me Feel Better, I Need To Feel Better (Reddie)

Chapter Five

Eddie

I woke up the next morning in almost the same position I fell asleep in. The only difference was our legs were intertwined. Richie was still sleeping, his arms wrapped around me tighter than they had been when I'd fallen asleep. I would be lying if  I said I didn't like the feeling of being in his arms. I remembered last night when I rested my head on his chest his heart sounded like it might explode. He didn't know it but my heart was beating just as fast. The more I laid there and thought about it, the more I knew that I was falling in love with my best-friend. Richie said that kiss on the cheek didn't mean anything at all but if that were true he wouldn't have reacted the way he did to me last night. 

For once in my life I felt a small swell of confidence. Without even thinking about it I shook Richie awake. "Ugggh whaaaaat?" He whined out as he squeezed me even tighter, making it almost impossible for me to move. "Will you loosen your freakin grip for 2 seconds." Richie let out another whine but obliged me. "I want to test something." I said and before Richie could even open his eyes to look at me, I pressed my lips to his a quick, sweet, soft, kiss. The contact as short as it was, sent electricity through my veins and made my heart flutter in my chest. Yep I definitely liked boys, Richie specifically. "I am definitely still asleep and dreaming which makes it totally okay if I do this."

A second later he was pulling me back down and crashing our lips together. This kiss was a lot different than my little chaste kiss. It had me panting not too long after it started. His lips were so fucking soft and the contact made me feel so many things that my head was spinning. I let out a soft moan and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth, letting out a small sound of his own. A few second later I felt something hard pressing against me and I honestly hadn't even noticed I'd moved to straddle him. Or had he moved me? I honestly had no clue. All I knew was both of us were a panting mess and Richie was a really good fucking kisser. 

We finally pulled away, a small string of saliva still connecting us. I saw it and made a face, wiping at my mouth. "Welp so much for the dreaming part. If this were a dream we'd be fucking already. Man why can't real life be that awesome?" I sat up on him and pinched the bridge of my nose as I closed my eyes. His erection was still prominent and it wasn't doing anything to soothe my own aching. Even his stupid jokes weren't easing my need. "Why can't you ever just shut up?" I grumbled at him before he pulled me back down into a laying position on top of him. His arms came around me and he held me close. "Because you are so fucking cute when you're flustered." My breath caught at his sudden boldness but I guess  I earned it for kissing him. I knew that the moment it happened that Richie would let all of his feelings spill. It was just the kind of person he was.

"Well if you aren't going to say anything or y'know touch my dick or something do you mind getting off of me? This is only just really fucking awkward." I did as he asked because he was right, both of sitting there with a fucking hard on in absolute silence was honestly cringe-worthy. This time I was at a loss for words. I couldn't believe that I had been bold enough to kiss Richie! The reality of it all started to sink in and my breath started to become short. Richie let out a soft sigh before reaching over and grabbing my inhaler off of his side table. He handed it to me and I was quick to put it in my mouth and press the trigger. Not once but three times. 

"Just relax Eddie. Breathe. In and out. Nice and slow." His words and the effects from my inhaler helped my breathing return to normal. "I'm sorry. It's just that I've never kissed anyone before and... I know this changes things."

"It doesn't have to change anything if you don't want it to, but things like this can't keep happening because I really do like you Eds and it's not fair to me if this is just you experimenting or some shit." I winced at just how serious his tone was. Because while the more intense kiss was him, I was the one who initiated it. He was right, it wasn't fair to him for me to do something like that and not explain where it was coming from. I wasn't just experimenting, although the kiss had helped me confirm what I already knew. 

"It's not like that Richie. I really do like you but I'm just afraid. This situation isn't exactly ideal. I mean how are we supposed to tell our friends? My fucking mom? She will freak the hell out and keep me locked in my room for the rest of my life if she finds out I have feelings for you." Richie let out a soft growl and sat up in his bed.

"When the fuck are you going to stop letting everyone else control your life Eddie? When the fuck are you going to decide that it's okay for you to make your own choices and be happy? I love you so fucking much but it's never going to matter because you're always going to be worried about what everyone else has to say. You're always going to worry that everyone is going to hate you because you like guys or more specifically me. You'll never stop to think about the fact that if you really like me, what other people have to say about it shouldn't matter. You say you're worried about what our friends would think, but fucking newsflash I'm worried too. But it wouldn't stop me from letting you tell them if you wanted to. It wouldn't stop me from being with you if that's what you wanted. Sure I'm afraid of what people will think but it doesn't matter to me because you're more important to me than anyone. And FUCK your mom. She's done nothing but keep you sheltered your whole goddamn life and if she cares that much about you, she would want you to be happy." My mouth fell open and I was honestly sent into shock. He gave me so much to think about and not much time to think about it. He must have been thinking about things like this for a long time.

"Richie I really don't know what to say right now. Other than you just wouldn't get it. I don't want my mom to hate me. I don't want anyone to hate me." 

"Y'know you're right. I don't fucking get it. I honestly thought you might care enough about me to stop caring about everyone else's stupid thoughts on something like this."

  "Yeah, because I'm just going to stop caring about MY MOTHER'S THOUGHTS because some self entitled teenager thinks he's more important to me than MY MOM! My mom might be crazy but I love her and she loves me Richie." 

"Can you just leave? First you kiss me and now this bullshit. If you love your mom so much maybe you should just spend the rest of your life with her." I was honestly baffled that Richie could be so over-dramatic and then I was angry. 

  "I'm already stuck with my mom for life. And if you keep acting like this, you're going to be stuck with no one but yourself for life. So call me when you finally decide to pull your head out of your ass."  With that I stormed out of Richie's house without a second thought.

A/N: Lmao I am so sorry this is trash