complications.. (hoshi fan fiction)

- don't you love me?

      As Jisu felt Hoshi's body relax beneath her, she slowed down, letting her teeth sink into her bottom lip with ecstasy. Hoshi let out a low moan, a small smile on his lips. His grip on Jisu's waist loosened and he closed his eyes, breathing heavily.
      "Oh~ I love you..."
Jisu's body froze, while her heart sped up a thousand times faster. Those three words she'd never heard her boyfriend utter - no matter how many times she'd said it to him.
     "W-What?"
Hoshi murmured a low, incoherent response, his body still tingling from sex. Jisu swallowed, suddenly staggering off him and wrapping her silk kimono around her shivering body. Hoshi opened one eye, frowning.
     "Hey, where are you going? Are we finished? This soon?"
Jisu shot him a sharp look, aggravated by his egotistical tone.
     "Don't...Don't talk to me, Hoshi."
Hoshi's brow furrowed even further.
     "What did I do? Wasn't I good enough, or something? I mean, I was tired from practice earlier-"
     "You said you loved me," Jisu cut across him, her voice suddenly weak, "you said you loved me and the only reason you did was because we just had sex. I don't want that. I want you to tell me you love me because you do love me...not because we slept together."
     "Aish, you know I didn't mean it," Hoshi sighed, "Jisu don't take it so seriously, I was only joking."
He rose from the bed, wrapping his dressing gown around his body. He stepped close to Jisu, snaking his arms around her waist from behind.
     "Hoshi, don't you love me?" Jisu whispered, her voice catching.
     "We've been over this," Hoshi murmured in her ear, causing the hairs on the back of her neck to stand on end, "love is a strong word."
     "And you don't feel so strongly about me," the young girl bowed her head, ready for the tears to begin to fall.
     "Baby," Hoshi delicately kissed her neck, "you're mine and I don't think I could go a day without you."
     "You just like the sex--" Jisu began, before Hoshi spun her around, eyes narrowed. His expression grew angry, and his girlfriend cowered away from him. His hand snatched at her chin, forcing her head up.
     "You know I hate that you doubt me."
     "You never give me reason not to," Jisu snapped. She was immediately met with an icy cold glare.
     "Then maybe we should break up. What's a relationship without trust?"
Jisu took a deep, desperate breath.
     "No...Hoshi please...don't..."
     "Then come on," his voice softened, his tone sweeter, "come back to bed, you're just tired, that's why you're so emotional. And you're shivering; you're cold, honey, let's cuddle up."
Jisu could help but smile at the charming man as he lead her back to their double bed, guiding her under the covers and wrapping his arms around her. He gently kissed her forehead, and she snuggled up into his chest - while Hoshi ran his fingers lovingly through her black curls.
     "Hoshi..." Jisu started, before letting him cut across her, quietly.
     "Shh," he soothed, "sleep, Ji-Ji, we have to be up early tomorrow."

At Pledis, the next day, Hoshi worked with SEVENTEEN from 4am, while Jisu taught the dance class to trainees from 5. Both saw neither of each other until 12pm, when they were let off to eat and relax. Jisu, Nia and Hyemi all joined the boys in their lounge, with their usual tray of noodles for everyone. Hoshi was almost immediately all over his girlfriend, arms wrapped around around her waist, his front pressed against her back, his lips kissing her neck romantically.
     "How did the class go? Are they getting any better?"
Jisu sighed, opening hers and Hoshi's noodle pots.
     "They're okay - none of them are really sharp enough yet. They can't get past the hardest move in dance routine 3; and we still have 4 routines to learn for their assessment."
She slowly turned to face Hoshi, who's sweet smile relaxed her.
     "Do you want me drop in when I get time, give them some tips?" he suggested.
     "I don't want to inconvenience you-" Jisu frowned.
Hoshi shook his head, leading her to the sofa, draping one arm around her shoulder, and beginning to eat with his other hand.
     "It's no convenience at all. I'll drop by at about 6."
Jisu nodded, curling up and leaning into Hoshi.
     "I love you," she murmured, absent-mindedly.
     "Hm," Hoshi coughed, "thank you."
Jisu looked up sharply.
     "Really? You really can't say it back yet? Jesus, what is wrong with you?! What's wrong with me?"
She sat up, slamming her food down onto the table.
     "Jisu..." Nia began, concern filling her voice, "honey, it's okay."
     "No," Jisu snapped, "it's not okay. My boyfriend can't tell me he loves me after 11 months dating."
     "11 months?" Hyemi's mouth fell open, "it's really been that long?"
     "11 months last week," Jisu whispered, "it's not fair anymore Hoshi, it really isn't."
With that, the 19 year old dancer rose from her seat and drifted out, almost as if all the energy had been drained from her body. Hoshi ran his hands through his hair, groaning. Suddenly, he let out an angered yell, kicking the table roughly, spilling Seungkwan's drink onto the black carpet.
     "Hoshi--" Woozi began, before meeting his hyung's fiery eyes, and deciding against carrying on.
     "You're going to lose her," S.Coups' tone was slow and delicate.
Hoshi shook his head.
     "No. No I'm not."
     "Just tell her you love her," Nia shrugged, "unless...you don't?"
     "It's not that," Hoshi closed his eyes, "love is a strong word - the last time I let myself tell a girl I felt that way for her, she left me for another man; I don't want to go through that pain again."
     "You're putting her through pain, so you won't get attached? Hoshi that's horrible of you," Hyemi frowned.
     "You don't understand," Hoshi's tone grew louder, warning the younger girl, "don't speak so informally to me either, you're forgetting I'm older."
Hyemi rolled her eyes.
     "Just because your whore ex-girlfriend cheated on you, doesn't mean Jisu will. She would never hurt you. I'm surprised she even shouted at you - she loves you too much to anger you. It must be getting hard for Jisu if she's snapping like that."
     "Look," Jeonghan bit his lip, "we all know you do love Jisu, but none of us can force you to be ready to say it out loud. You have to be ready - just don't leave it too late."
Hoshi shrugged.
     "It won't matter how long I leave it; she's not going anywhere."
     "You seem so sure of yourself," Dino raised one eyebrow, visibly annoyed, "you don't realise how lucky you are that Jisu chose you."
Hoshi frowned, meeting the younger one's eyes.
     "What are you talking about?"
     "Dino, don't..." Wonwoo began, quickly.
     "No, Dino, what is it?" Hoshi felt his pulse quicken, as he begun to think the worse.
     "Look, Jisu's a pretty girl, right," Dino continued, despite his hyung's pleas, "so she gets a lot of attention off the guys. When I help her out with the classes, the trainees all flirt with her, and Jonghyun's mentioned before he think she's attractive - not only that but when I've gone to other companies to work with her, all the male idols hit on her. Hoshi you've got a load of competition; and you treat her like she's nothing important. Do you really think you're her best option?"
Hoshi tried hard to speak, but no words would come from his mouth.
     "Hosh? You okay?" Joshua asked, carefully.
Hoshi nodded, swallowing.
     "I...I'm fine. Dino, does she...does she flirt back."
Dino winced, he knew his friend was hurt.
     "Hoshi..."
     "Tell me!" Hoshi snarled, slamming his palms against the wall, bowing his head.
     "No! Well...sometimes. O-Only with Sewoon...you know, the singer from Starship? I don't know, they just sort of click." Dino grimaced, fearful for Hoshi's state of mind.
     "That's enough," Jun said sharply, "Hoshi have a drink, sit down. You need to calm. You'll never finish the choreography if you're like this - and if you don't it'll just make you worse."
Hoshi shook his head, slowly, as if in a trance.
     "I can't take this, I need some air."
He flew out of the lounge, holding back angry tears. He could feel his heart breaking into two - was she going to cheat on him? Out of the corner of his eye, Hoshi noticed the familiar sight of his girlfriend's black curls. He turned, watching as she laughed along with an attractive man. His eyes narrowed, his fists clenched, and he looked off, frustrated. He'd speak to her later - for now he had to take his mind of it, and dancing was the only option.

     At exactly 6 pm, just like Hoshi promised, he dropped by Jisu's class, despite they're argument, he knew this was more important to their careers. Bowing, he greeted the trainees politely.
     "I believe you're practising my choreography to my song? Routine...3?"
Jisu avoided Hoshi's eyes, scared she'd break down if she met them.
    "Excuse me," a small, young girl raised her hand, blushing deeply.
Hoshi smiled, his eyes slanting into his signature "10:10", causing the other girls in the class to giggle, charmed. Jisu looked down, sighing.
     "E-Erm," the young girl bit her lip, "you two, are like, the cutest couple in the world! You're so close - and I think it's adorable how many choreographies you've done together. But...can you please perform your "you can't go anywhere" solo stage with her? Th-That's what we've been learning and I-I'd really love to see the chemistry in person."
Hoshi's breath caught, looking at Jisu, expectantly. She forced a smile.
     "I don't really have to do much, so it's Hoshi-ya's call," her overly sweet tone made Hoshi sad, but he nodded.
     "I'd love to perform it for you."
He grabbed the chair next to the door, spinning it around swiftly, gesturing to Jisu for her to sit. She obeyed, in silence. As soon as the music begun, both Hoshi and Jisu felt their hearts stop - rage built in Hoshi's stomach, and regret in Jisu's. Throwing the hat down onto the floor, she jumped feeling Hoshi's strong grip on her shoulders. He shook her harder than he was supposed to, making her back knock against the chair, painfully. Jisu could feel the emotions in his dancing - it had become more realistic. He'd let their arguments and his concerns seep into the routine. It offered a better viewing for the audience, yes; but it was harsh for the performers. Hoshi met her eyes, his hand cupping her chin. Forcing her head up, left, then right, roughly, her neck twisting in agony. Her eyes watered. Why was he being like this? The argument wasn't even half as bad as some of their previous ones - why had he taken this so to heart? He didn't usually. Had somebody said something else to him?