if you're awake at 4am, you're either
in love or lonely. And to be honest,
i don't know which one is worse.
~ unknown
*****
Sams pov
I watched as Spencer walked into the school. She had on her leggings and her favorite sweatshirt, her hair was in a bun and her glasses hung upon her nose. Her little figure dodged people left and right. I felt my palms get sweaty and my knees shake as I walked towards her "spencer can we talk?" I asked
"Sure" she shyly smiled following me outside
"I'm sorry" I said looking at her. I could tell she hadn't slept in awhile, but she looked perfect never the less
"Sam" she stopped talking and looked away from me. She started playing with the string on the hoodie
"Spencer I'm seriously so sorry, these past few days have been utter hell" I pleaded
She looked at me and opened her mouth like she was going to say something, but closed it looking down at her worn out vans "Sam I can't do this" she looked up at me with her bloodshot eyes
"what do you mean?" I asked reaching for her hand
She pulled it away and blinked slowly opening her eyes as a tear fell down slowly "I'm sorry" she whispered wiping her face
"For what?" I searched her face for an answer
"Sam I can't do this. I can't do us" she motioned her hand to us. Her bottom lipped started to quiver
"Spencer, please don't say that" I begged
"I'm so sorry sam" she sobbed wiping her tears away "I wanted this to work, but I can't so long distance"
"Then I'll stay here"
"Sam" she smiled "you have to go to FGCU. You have a full ride and you need to think about your future, not some dumb 17 year old year old girl"
"You're not some dumb 17 year old" I objected
"Sam" she stepped closer to me "I am so so sorry, but I can't do this anymore. I can't pretend that I'm ok with you moving"
"We don't have to do this" I said fighting back my tears
"Sam it's for the best"
"For who you or me?"
"Both" she looked back down "Im sorry"
"Stop fucking saying sorry spencer" I yelled running my fingers through my hair
"Sam we both just need to think about our futures"
"But you are my future"
"Sam this last year has been nothing, but amazing. And I have you to thank. You showed me how to love not only myself, but others"
"Spence" my heart dropped as she kissed me on the cheek and walked away.
I stood there and watched my best friend, my partner in crime, the love of my life walk away from me. Forever.
