Short Stories

Mr. Jones

I, Mr. Jones, am a retired banker. I know nothing about camping, but my buddy Bill suggested that I go on a camping trip. It sounded like a good idea at the time, so I began preparing. I bought a $15 tent on eBay, chose a campsite at the nearest state park and packed some clothes. I went to the grocery store and bought provisions.

I arrived at the campsite and set up my tent (it was sagging and rather moth-eaten). I went to grab my groceries, and I realized that I'd forgotten a cooler, and all of my foods were perishable. ON top of all that it looked like it was going to rain. I tried to start a fire, but I realized I didn't have a lighter or matches.

Shortly after my disaster of a "fire", I crawled into my tent (which was right by the dumpster). After some time, I fell asleep, but I was awoken by a crack of thunder. Shortly thereafter it began to downpour. I rushed to my car, but I was forced to leave my belongings in the leaky tent because the storm got rather horrid in a matter of minutes. I spent the night in my car and woke up sore but I persevered and went on a hike the next day.

Things only got worse. The trail was wet from the downpour and I fell many times. It wasn't so bad until I got my pants caught on a branch and they ripped. Many people saw me and my plaid underwear.

That night I built a fire and used a fellow camper's lighter to start my fire. I was making myself breakfast and I burnt my pancakes. On top of that, I just barely managed to keep my fingers on the lighter. I nearly dropped it in the fire! I went to bed and slept miraculously well. However, the next morning I went outside to find that raccoons had gotten into my trash. They'd scattered everything around my campsite. I cleaned up and found the food that wasn't spoiled. I headed out to go fishing and I must've sat on the shore for an hour, with no bites. Just as I decided to pack up, a fish bit. I'd set the rod on the shore and was packing up my car. I went to grab my rod and it was gone! I sighed and drove back to my campsite.

The poor people who were camping near me came over at about midday to ask me to pack up and go home after I accidentally caused some tent to tip over because I'd pulled up the stakes before pulling out the framework of the tent and it had gone flying. I was in the process of packing up already, so the good people helped me.