A Guide To Love For A Bozo

|To Love, Is It Worth It? {1}|

I've decided to make all chapters to start with "To Love," so it's sort of like a signature thing. Sort of a series but are all individual stories. Will contain infrequent strong language. Please bare with Clancy he's going through a tough time at the beginning but, I promise you, he will become so much better.
Agent Baker.

Dedicate to Pretzellover71023011 & EmbersofMemories for the idea for this one shot.

~

To love,

How hard should I fight for this?

~

"Can this torture just end?" I mutter to myself quietly with my hands covering my ears and my eyes glaring at the table.

Though the table had done nothing wrong, my anger was mostly directed towards the other guy on the table. However if I glared at him, I don't think Ruby would be very happy.

I try to interrupt the conversation thirty seconds through and for the thirtieth time but they just ignore me. We (Ruby and I) go out to Donut Diner after school on Wednesdays and Fridays since the beginning of the start of the school year, which was always fun and light-hearted. But what also came with the beginning of the school year, was Ruby's new best mate (much to my annoyance). I sit there bored and feeling redundant. I'm basically third-wheeling, which, to say the least, is not very appealing.

Not only am I pretty pissed at that, but I don't like the way 'Cute Cal' (Ruby's words not mine) was flirting with Ruby. Yes. You heard right. Flirting. However, it seems as if Ruby is completely unaware. 'Cute Cal' reaches out with his hand and casually touches Ruby's hand briefly from across the table and it just infuriates me so much. I excuse myself that I just needed to get some fresh air but as usual, they ignore me.

I step out of the cool, air-conditioned diner and out into the bright summer sun. I tilt my head towards the sun soaking up the warmth like a desert lizard. I don't turn my head back when I leave. I just walk away. I mean, they don't need me right now, I've already been forgotten.

Life's just great isn't it?

What's that saying again? Nothing lasts forever. It's true, here's an example- me and Ruby's friendship won't last forever. To be honest, I wanted it to be more than friendship so maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing, but now 'Cute Cal' has come along and my chances are blown. I admit I'm jealous. I'm really jealous, of course, I am. I want to be able to flirt with Ruby without her thinking I'm joking around. She still thinks of me as a weak child and it pisses me off. I'm older, more mature now and she still doesn't see it. Every time I try to make a move on her she brushes it of with a laugh or a 'stop joking around Clance' and I have no choice but to just 'laugh it off' and pretend it was nothing. But every time it happens, it hurts.

It hurts to know that she doesn't like me in that way. Maybe I should try harder and fight for her more, but I think I've just about given up. Cal can keep her company. She seems happy enough with him. Doesn't need me anymore, it'd be good for her. I won't have to be a burden to her an extra weight on her already very heavy load. She constantly worries about me, and I appreciate it, but it's just too much— she's like my mother. And I don't like it.

I kick a stray stone in frustration. She still hasn't noticed I'm gone. I walk to the nearest bench and just sit down for a while. I need to clear my head.

It's clear that Ruby doesn't like me. Which means I should probably stop crushing on her. But I'm going to need a plan of some sort, some way to stop myself from. . . From doing anything with or to her. That's it. I just need to cut myself out of her life, move on. Make new friends. I need a change, that'll help me move on.

I get home at 'an outrageously late time' according to my parents. Which is true I didn't get back to eleven and I have a curfew of ten. Oops, a daisies. And I've got to admit, I'm slightly tipsy and not thinking straight. No, not from alcohol, (I'm underage for God's sake!) but from anger. You don't think it's possible? Well, I just proved you wrong.

Eventually, I did go back to the diner and they were walking out of the diner. Cal held the door open for her doing the whole 'after you m'lady' thing. I snorted at the scene, anyone would say that they're a couple.

I had approached them with a forced smile hopping Ruby wouldn't notice. She usually does with her super spy observation skills. I kinda wanted to notice in a way too. I wanted her to acknowledge me. So I avoided her eye contact and pretended to be all sad. Not that I really had to pretend.

All I got was a 'Clancy where were you?' then followed by 'Cal and I were about to go to the park, wanna come?' to which I replied immediately with no.

I spent the rest of my evening, wondering around the empty roads. It was a warm night so, luckily, I didn't freeze to death.

I ignore my parents yells and shouts. I'm so sick of everything. Everything just speeds up, it's all a blur. I don't have time to think when my hand is on the phone. I'm dialling in her number and I can't stop no matter how hard I try. No-one picks up. I had dialed her squirrel one so that only she would pick up. I left a message.

"Ruby, I don't think you should hang out with Calum. Your spending all your time with him and I don't like how he's flirting with you. You probably haven't noticed but I have and I don't like it Ruby, I really don't."

For a girl who's smart enough to solve and crack incredibly difficult codes, she's pretty dumb.

For a girl who's observant skills are amazingly specific, she's pretty unobservant.

When I placed the phone down, I immediately regretted everything. Ugh, life's so fucked up.

Next morning I'm out of bed at 7 and out the door soon after. I need another point of view. I need a friend. I'm heading off to Eliot's.

~

"Ugh, what do you want buster?" A very disgruntled Elliot says. He ruffles his mop of brown hair that really needs to be cut, but, of course, I don't tell him that. "It's, like, eight in the morning- on a Sunday!" He exclaims the last bit.

"I know it's unbelievable isn't it?" I cock my head to the side, then with a slight edge of harshness in my voice. "Useless, dumb and lazy Clancy up at eight am?"

You see what I mean? It's not just Ruby, it's everyone including Elliot. Elliot stands there stunned. I'm always one to stay quiet, to accept and move on. But that's just not me. Everyone thinks that I'll just forget. But I don't, I can't.

"Are you still mad at that. We were all just joking!" He throws his arms up exasperated.

"Yeah, being at a party and a being a bit hyper makes it okay." I say, forcing myself to stay calm, I keep my voice leveled and my expression blank. "What's the saying? Drunk words, sober thoughts."

"Well technically we weren't drunk."

"So you're not denying it? Wow, Elliot, wow!" All I want is some friendly advice but apparently I can mess this up too.

Apparently, I can mess everything up.