The Frozen Tear

2

He picked up on the first ring. 

"Hey", I heard his solemn voice. One thing I liked about telephone conversations was that, no one could give a facial expression as an answer, and had to say something to explain what they wanted to communicate. I wanted to hear his words. 

"Hey. What's up?", I asked him.

He seemed to be in deep thought while I held the phone to my ear, waiting, expecting...feeling anxious. Then I could hear his reply, his words and thoughts. They seem to draw pictures in my mind as I stepped into his. I remember staring off into the clock dial, which was hung right in front of me, while listening to his each and every word. I spoke to him and while speaking to Ray, I realized how clock rotation was not a myth to the naked eye. It struck me how the clock could run fast and how time can take flight right before your eyes. 

I could hear Ray's voice rough and muffled. I felt a knot of emotions stuck in my throat. I was a cat with a hairball stuck down my throat. In my mind, the image of Ray with tears strolling down his cheeks, but Ray's eyes were not red. I could only attempt to vomit the hairball stuck in my throat by coughing out the words like, 'be strong' and 'you should not let your parents get the best of you'. He seemed to be broken in despair as, I heard the his quick breaths between his cracking voice. He sounded like, it was the end of the world. I wanted to walk up to him and shake him so badly, saying, "Put yourself together".

His parents have had a fight and, his father moved out last night. I knew how much Ray loved his father. It reminded me of my own guilt of always being secretly jealous for his happy family. It was the first real experience I had of seeing happiness and knowing that, people who are truly happy existed but, Ray being depressed and his family now breaking apart, broke my heart, my hopes. Again, it has turned itself into a cycle. I never wanted my friend to feel or even remotely embrace the feelings that, I should be feeling everyday.

I suddenly kept down the phone as I heard my mum entering the house from the kitchen door. I walked to my door. I could hear the laughter through the wood. I could hear a coarse voice, talking but, I could not comprehend the words, let alone a conversation. Just sounds, like always. 

'It must be an old rich cat snooping around', I thought to myself in disgust, and slowly but quietly locked the door. Unfortunately, I could hear my mother's voice, ringing loud, summoning me to the devil's hall. I slowly went downstairs. I felt a strong hand tightening around my upper arm. Soon, I was standing in the kitchen, preparing wine and beer for the occasion. I could hear my mum's suaviloquy in the next room. 

I silently prepared everything and was about to slip back into my room, when I heard my cellphone vibrating in my left pocket. I sighed with relief as I realized that, I had activated the 'silent mode' during school hours and, forgot to turn it off. If one bit of my ringtone was to reach my mother's ears, it would bring about an episode of chaos. I knew she would most definitely beat me, considering tonight's standards. 

It was Ray. 

I whispered to the phone. I could hear him crying. Crying. He wanted to talk to me. He had no one to talk to. I understood his desperation. I asked him to give me few minutes to go back inside my room but, he interrupted me and said that, he did not want a telephone conversation. He wanted to talk. I agreed, expecting something new must have happened. I felt cold standing by the kitchen door. I stepped outside, closing the door behind me. 

I was shivering in the darkness. I saw the distant lamplight by the roadside and started to walk towards it, when suddenly I heard a crash from my house. I rushed back inside. It was my mum. I could see her shadowy figure in the candlelight and, the long fat figure of the old man. He had a piercing coarse voice and, a belt in his hands. I crept closer for a better view. I could feel my heart palpitating at a speed, faster than lightning itself, which made my insides, a complete void, cold and numb. 

I felt the urge to run to my mother's side as I heard the crackling sound of the belt, now employed at a new job. My mum's eyes flashed a warning sign, not to take another step closer. I was frozen in a stance. I did not move and awaited for it all to be over. I was again, calm. I remembered the hidden baseball bat in the kitchen.

 Remembering Ray, I slowly crept back deep into the kitchen and silently slipped outside into the darkness again.