Recovery

Part 6

Erin woke up in the couch after letting Jay crash at hers. She got up when she heard knocking on her door, she walked Over to the door and saw Voight, "What you doing here?"

"I don't know whats going on with the job but I've spoken to a few people and we need you back"

"Yeah I'm happy that you are offering to give me my job back and I'll take it"

"Thankyou... I'm going to talk to Halstead about how he's doing so I'll get-"

"Hank... Jay's here, he's sleeping"

"Why?" Voight looked at Erin confused.

Erin stepped out on to the apartment hallway and shut the door behind her, "he turned up last night with a bottle of alcohol and some drugs and said he needs my help. He just broke down, I've never seen him like this before"

"You both alright though"

"Yeah I think so. I'll talk to him about work and see how he's feeling"

"Good and thankyou for coming back"

"It's alright" Erin walked back into her apartment and shut the door and saw Jay stood near the wall, "who was that?"

"Hank he just came to talk to me about work"

"Oh ok"

"Jay you alright"

"Yeah Just headaches"

"Yeah you will but you're gonna alright"

"I'm sorry I shouldn't haven't come round last night... I'll get my stuff" Erin ran over to Jay and grabbed his hand as he turned around, "You're not going anywhere Jay. I'm here for you. I love you Jay"

"You really mean it this time?"

"I meant it the first time Jay so of course I do" Erin lent forward and kissed Jay and hugged him, "we'll get though this together"

"Thankyou"

Jay and Erin were sat on the couch hugging, "how'd you sleep"

"I didn't, I just can't... my mind is just going crazy"

"Yeah Jay I understand"

"I don't know why I did it. I'm such an idiot"

"You're not an idiot, you were hurt"

Jay stood up off the couch and grabbed his jacket, "I'm gonna go... I should go"

"Jay wait..." Jay just took off out of Erin's apartment and Erin stood as he shut the door and left.

Two days later

Erin walked into the bullpen as it was her first day back to work but she wasn't along, "You ready?" she asked

"I think so" Jay said as he went to Voights office.

Voight opened the door as Jay knocked and he let him and Erin in. They both sat down in front of his desk and he looked at them, "So..." Voight slid Jay badge across the desk and he grabbed it, "You give this badge in again, you won't be getting back"

"Thank Voight."

"How're you doing?"

"Im ok... I struggle sometimes but works a good distraction"

"What about you two... whats going on?"

"We're happy together and we're going to stay that way" Erin held on to Jay's hand.

"Ok well glad to have you both back at work, lets go"

Erin and Jay both went out to their desks and sat down. Jay was looking down at his desk and Erin was still worried about him.

Jay's POV

The urge was crazy at the minute. I can't get the thoughts out of my head and I don't know what to do. I can't tell Erin, she thinks im alright and i'm getting better but it's killing me. I just don't understand how im going to hold it all in.

I got up from my desk and rushed into the breakroom. I poured coffee into my mug and I put it down. I pulled the bag of drugs out of my pocket and looked at it, As I held on to the counter top Erin walked in, "everything alright"

"Yeah... yeah I'm good" I shoved the drugs back into my pocket as i turned around and looked at her.

"You're not okay Jay... the sweating, anxiety"

I sat down on the couch and put my head in my hands. "I can't do it Erin"

Erin sat down next to me and put her hand on my shoulder, "Yes you can Jay I know you can".  I sat back and pulled the drugs out of my pocket, I grabbed Erin's hand and placed them in it, "I'm sorry" I said as I got up and walked out of the bullpen.

Nobody's POV

Erin sat on the couch and she unfolded her hand to see the packet of white powder. She walked over to the sink and she tipped them down the drain as fast as she could before putting the bag in the trash and leaving the breakroom.

As Erin got back to her desk she picked up her phone, "please come back Jay" she texted him. Voight came out of his office and looked at jay's desk then looked at Erin, "wheres Halstead?"

"He took a break"

Erins POV

I sat back in my chair as I wondered where Jay was but the more I sat there I just got a feeling of sickness. The more and more I sat there it got worse so I ran for the bathroom. As I threw up in the toilet I heard the door open, "Erin?" I heard Kim from outside the door.

I opened the door and walked out. I wiped my mouth and looked at her, "You alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine... I don't know where that came from"

"Maybe you should go home if you are sick"

"Yeah I know"

I walked out of the bathroom and knocked and Hanks office door, "I'm sick. I'm gonna head home"

"Okay get better soon and find Halstead"

"Yeah I will" I turned around and grabbed my bag as I left the bullpen.

Nobody's POV

Erin got back to her apartment but as she walked through the door she felt the same feeling again, she ran towards the bathroom and just got there as she threw up. As she stood up from the toilet she opened the cupboard to look for some pills when she saw it. The pink box with only said one thing on the front, 'pregnancy test'

"Shit" Erin said as she pulled them out remembering she grabbed them a few days before she left.

Erin pulled a test out the box and she knew she had to do it. As she did the test she placed it on the side and waited, the timer went down on her phone and when it beeped Erin stood up and stared at the test which was upside down.

"Okay..." Erin picked up the test and as she turned it around she just felt the tears in her eyes, 'pregnant'

"Shit... shit!" Erin said as she threw the test down on the side. She put the box in the trash and slid the test into her pocket as she heard the door open.

Erin walked out into the lounge and she saw Jay stumbling through the door, "Jay?"

"Hey... Yeah sorry I was out"

"You been drinking?"

"I had two beers Erin. God sorry mom"

"You think that's funny. You drinking seen as the last time you did this you ended up in a coma."

"What do you care?"

"Because I love you Jay"

"Well it's not all about you Erin"

"She you're not gonna stop drinking for me?"

"No no im not"

"Well you may not be doing it for me but can you do it for our child" Erin pulled the test out her pocket and threw it at Jay.