Ink stains (Ginny Weasley AU)

Year 2 - Part 1

When professor Lupin announced they would be learning about boggarts Ginevra Weasley was not surprised.

She had snorted while Ron bragged about how brave he had been, standing up to a spider and a big one too. Lucky bastard. She hadn't talked to him for a week after that. Not that he had noticed. He had been glad to be rid of his baby sister for a while. But if anything good had come from his little speech, it was that she had had time to prepare. That didn't make her any less terrified, though.

She bit her tongue as she tugged at the elastic wrapped around her wrist. The pain distracted her from the quill she so desperately wanted to grab.

No!

The diary was gone. It didn't matter how much she wrote anymore, he wouldn't be there to answer.

She didn't take the quill in front of her and, while she was too scared to smile, she felt a small bubble of pride well up inside of her. She was doing well, it had been at least a week since she had written her feelings down. A week since she had cried over an answer that would never come.

She looked down at the red, angry skin surrounding the elastic and hoped it wouldn't start to bleed. Her other wrist wasn't healed yet and if she bled people would notice. Well, Percy would notice. Two fussing parents and six siblings, but he was the only one she couldn't fool.

During her first year, it was Percy who noticed that she hadn't been eating. That she had been quivering half of the time. That she had clung to her quill almost obsessively. Even during the summer, he had been the one who had found her crying over her parchment, hugging a quill to her chest.

"Now repeat after me: RID-DIK-UL-US!"

Ginny mumbled the words along with the rest of the class. Her pronunciation was perfect. As were her wand movements for that matter. But in the end that didn't matter. Of course it wouldn't. The wand movements, the incantation weren't even difficult. What truly fueled the spell was laughter.

"You have to look your biggest fear in the eye and laugh at it. You need to force it into a shape that you find amusing. For example, imagining your fear in your grandmothers clothes was a favorite in one of my other classes."

If you were scared of spiders or snakes, fine. You could make those roller-skate or dance. That would be nothing. Him, though, how could you laugh at him? How could you do anything to him? Turn him into anything other than he was? She had broken her brain trying to find an image of him she could laugh at. She hadn't found anything.

She should have informed professor Lupin. If he knew what kept her awake at night, he would understand. No sane person would put another through that. But she didn't want to. She was a Gryffindor and she was going to act like one. She was going to be brave. Brave like Harry. She was going to look him in the eye and laugh. How she didn't know yet, but she would.

The sound of students shooting out of their seats shook her out of her musings. She hurried after them, into the row. At first she was standing reasonably at the back of the row, but during the lesson many chickened out and left their places in line. As a result, she got to the front rather quickly. Nevertheless, the lesson was nearing its end and she still hadn't gotten to go yet. That was a good thing, right?

Professor Lupin looked at his watch, then clapped his hands. "Alright, only one more! Ah, Miss Weasley, come forth, come forth."

Ginny looked around her, wondering when she became the first in line. She could have sworn there had been at least three backs before her only a second ago. She wiped her sweating hands on her robes and took out her wand. Her hands were still clammy though, so she gripped her wand tightly.