the poison I need // Phan

I hate you

~~Dan's POV~~

I'm getting worried.

I am 18 and I have not yet met my... well I guess the person that I will love and hate for all of my life.

I hate that this is an actual thing. Why do we have to stick with one person for life? Why can't we have freedom of who we love, and who we hate? Why can't the world just be nice to the human race? Why can't anything ever be good? Why did I have to be born with these stupid rose tattoos? Why am I sitting in this cafe staring out the window at the pouring rain? And why am I questioning this?

Well, it's nothing new. I question myself all the time. It's just.... I'm an adult now. And I would really love to meet this person that I will hate... but love for the rest of my life.

"Having another existential crisis?" Chris asks me, giving me a refill of my tea.

"You know me all too well," I give him a forced and fake smile. He can tell.

"Well at least you're trying to be happy." He places a hand on my shoulder and gives me a smile, "Maybe it won't be too bad." He walks off.

How does he know that? How can you love and hate someone? It's just not heard of.

And another thing, who says im going to hate this person? Maybe it's all in my head. I just have to stop thinking so much.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when a boy enters the cafe. He has an arm tattoo just like the one on Chris' left arm. It's a shooting star. Could this be the love of his life, or his enemy?

I walk up to the counter to pay Chris for my tea, "tall boy, curly hair, he has the shooting star tattoo." I place some crumpled up pounds on the counter. " Good luck my friend."

I flash him a more real smile now, and again he can tell. He reaches over the counter and gives me a hug, "I like the happy Dan, try to make him stay."

That made my smile drop, I am trying I really am, it's just hard to keep it up sometimes.

I give him a quick nod and turn to head out of the cafe. I take another glance at the curly haired boy, something tells me he's the better of the two evils. I smile at him.

For real this time.

~~~~~

I walk down the street, in the pouring rain, down to a book store.

It's one of the only places that can bring me happiness.

I always check the new books first, becuase it's always good to look at something new.

I have always loved books. With me being so depressed all the time becuase of my stupid tattoos, it gives me a place to escape to. A world where there is trouble, but most of the time there is a happy ending. A world that anything can happy. Anyone can do anything. Imagination is one of the best things life has given me. It let's me go into my own reality for just enough time to make me happy.

That's also why I am taking english and writing in university, I want to create my own realities. I have began to write a story where there is no such thing as our tattoos that control our lives. Everyone is free to love and hate who they please. A world where there is heart break from the ones you love, and happiness from who you hate.

A world that I think is perfect.

I grab a few books that interest me. I go sit at a table near by to look at the books. One is about a girl who was just like me, had two tattoos of the same. I guess I'm like a story book character. The others are just classic love storys. I can't get find love for myself, I'll live vicariously through the book.

I spend hours reading the books, I loose track of time. I hear the bell on top of door ring and I am pulled out of my thought. I go up to the counter to pay for the books to add to my collection. I pull more crumpled bills out of my pocket and hand it to the girl behind the counter.

I turn around and walk out without looking and bump into some guy. Both of us drop our books and I'm too embarrased to look up at him. I am scrambling my things all too quickly it shows my nervousness.

"I'm so sorry," I hear the boy say softly. This causes me too look up.

And it was one of the worst mistakes I have ever made. He was the most beautiful person that I have ever seen. Soft light blue eyes that I could get lost in, and I think I have. The most perfect skin I have ever seen, pale and perfect. And the dark mysterious hair. Black as the night sky, and just as amazing. He had this small apologetic smile that warmed my heart. I returned a genuine smile.

But I lost it just as fast. I can't feel like this about anyone but my soulmate. I have met a few people that I have almost fallen for that I can't. Like Chris and Louise.

And just like this guy here, I can't fall for him either.

"Let me help you with your things," he rolls up his sleeves to help me collect my things. And i notice something.

His tattoo.

It's the rose one just like mine.

I am immediately in shock. I can't speak. I'm scared.

He's right here. I get slight anger, my worst enemy.

I forget everything and I run as fast as I can out of the book store and straight to mine and Chris' appartment.

God I hate myself from running away like that. I just got so scared. But I forgot in that moment, he is my soulmate too, so I'll go find him tomorrow and see what happens.

~~~~~

Omg guys, brand new story! This is exciting and I'm really having a good feeling about this story. Let me know if you like it!

XOXO,

Anne