the poison I need // Phan

4. never leave

"I was making sure you knew why you ran"

What is that supposed to mean?

"I mean, I want to have this date to make sure you are my soulmate," He finishes up.

maybe he wants to make sure that the love will over power the hate?

I don't know, this is all confusing with or without the tattoos, but I'm just going to enjoy this while I can.

"So, you like going to bars on Thursday nights?" I ask to make conversation.

this brings a smile to his face, "Well, I just like meeting cute funny guys who awkwardly dance with me, what about you? You like Thursday night drinks?" I swear this boy is going to make my face so red, some one is going to offer me sunscreen, in mid November.

"Uh.. I actually never go drinking, my friend just finally got me out of the house."

"Well, I'm glad you came, I guess you could say it was our second chance."

"Yea, I guess you could say that," I'm actually in a really good mood for once, I think Phil is what I really needed in my life.

I guess he saw me smiling to myself, "Does that mean you like me?" He's smiling back at me.

"What is there not to like."

~~~~~

Phil and I are so deep in a conversation about the kind of dogs that we like, that we don't even notice that Tyler brought our food. It is really nice to talk to Phil, I always thought meeting this person would be a lot worse, it is so much better than I thought.

After about 20 more minutes, Tyler brings our check after we had just finished our cold coffee, "all this cold coffee is making me want more cold things, wanna get some ice cream?" Phil asks me while giving Tyler money to pay the check.

"I'd love too"

~~~~~

We go to the park where there is an ice cream stand. It has been pretty warm fall, so they are open until thanksgiving, the longest its been open since I was a kid.

Phil buys the ice cream and say I owe him for the next two dates. I would pay for the next thousand if they were all with him.

He wanted to take our ice cream and go on a walk. Gosh, who actually likes walks? I mean, its not too bad with him, so I forget about the walk almost instantly.

"So, you said Chris had finally gotten you out of the house, so you stay inside a lot, huh?"

"Yea, I don't like to meet people, I would rather avoid people hurting me."

"That makes sense, but, know I won't hurt you."

You say you won't, but there is always that possibility. "Okay, I trust you."

Lets just hope its not a mistake.

~~~~~

Phil and I walk around for a while just talking and talking. I know his favourite colour, I know what he does on lazy sundays, I know that he is an only child.

And everything I learn about him, I fall even more in love with him.

to end our day long date, Phil wants to walk me home. I just think he wants to know where I live, but that's fine by me.

we arrive all to soon, I want to spend more time with him, but its already getting late.

"Well, I guess this is where we split for the day. Can I see you tomorrow?"

He is all too cute, "how can I say no."

He smiles at me, which makes me to blush. It's a very nice moment.

he starts to come closer, I'm not ready for him to kiss me, not yet.

When he's close, I wrap my arms around him and hug him tightly, to make up for years with out them.

I feel like that I enjoy this a lot better than a kiss.

Phil feels like home. It's like after all of these years I have been lost and now I'm home. He wraps his arms around me pretty quickly and this is my favourite moment between us. its quiet, peaceful, and you can feel the love between the two of us.

we pull apart, I wish I didn't have too. I smile at him. "thank you for today."

"Of course," he smiles back and takes my hand in his. he rubs his thumb on the back of my hand just looking down at our hands.

He looks back up at me, "good night Daniel."

My heart melts at the sound of my name from his lips. "Good night Phil."

I watch as he leaves before I go inside.

I swear, I'm so glad I never killed myself, this is so worth it. I'll never think like that again. If I never want Phil to leave me, I can't leave him.

I walk inside and Chris is sitting on the couch. "How was your date?"

I smile to myself and think of everything that Phil and I did today, "Thank you for pulling me to that bar Chris, Than you."

He smiles back at me, "That good, huh?"

"too good for words."

~~~~~

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! This is my gift for you! an updateeeeeee.

you should check my other stories "The day I met you" and "Weird" I promise you wont be disappointed.

xoxo,

Anne

P.S.

I almost deleted the whole chapter, i had a heart attack.

Anne