Chapter 2: Dead Children

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"Ey' Dougy, You gonna get those biscuits for the kiddos tonight again?" says Glug, Doug's wife, over the phone. "Shut up Gluggo, you sure as hell know that's what I'm gettin'" Doug said "Yeah yeah whatever princess Douggo" aid Gulg Doug hangs up and leaves his work place, Sephora and gets into the limo which belongs to the president. But the driver is blind, so the driver doesn't know that Doug is in the car and Trump in still in the gas station picking up Orange Foundation. "You're fired" Trump says as he is handed 'Sunset Yellow'. He then notices Doug in his limo, driving away, off to Bojangles to get plain biscuits, which is all he has fed his children for the past 12 years.

"Bojangles" says Doug. "Sure thing me amigo." They wizz through all red lights, hitting and killing at least 12 million homo sapiens. No, not gay people, idiot. They finally arrive at Bojangles and order their daily amount of 192 plain Bojangles biscuits. But when he gets to the main window he realizes he only has 7 billion dollars cash in hand. "Thats only enough for one biscuit, dammit." What he means by this is that he will spend 99 cents on one biscuit and spend 6,999,999,999.1 dollars on makeup. Which is what he normally spends.

He gets home to a bone and skin family, except for the mother. The mother is extremely fat because all the food in the house (plain biscuits) is consumed by her. Doug gets into the house, but then almost forgot the 3 truckloads of makeup and one biscuit he left outside. So he goes back out and Glug yells at him the third time that day about the fact that he doesn't want to have 10 more children with her. And he comes back to an even angrier wife when he shows her he fact that he only has one biscuit. He throws the biscuit on the floor and the entire family goes crazy to get it. As all the kids are on the ground eating it, the wife slowly lugs over to them. "HEY that biscuit is MI-" she says this as she trips on one of the children's doggy toys. Squashing all ten of them. All dead. No survivors. Death. She then eats the blood covered half a biscuit left like nothing just happened, and wobbles to the coach and turns on Judge Judy, reciting the entire introduction as it plays. "You are about to enter the courtroom of Judge Judith Sheindlin. The people are real. The cases are real. The rulings are final. This is her courtroom. This is Judge Judy..."

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