The Choice (Sam Pottorff and Connor Franta)

Unknown

Here they come again, the thoughts. I constantly feel them.. but I just can't not feel them anymore. It's basically just an endless roller coaster of feeling happy and then immediately feeling like you deserve nothing good in your life. Everyone has been putting me down. Ever since I made the decision to pick Connor, it seems like everyone hates me. I try to tell them that I want to do what's best for me, but they still don't listen. They don't understand that I judge people by what I hear about them. I don't even know if Sam actually did play all those girls... but I guess he just needs to confess to me about it so that I can trust him. For now, I have to try to be happy without Sam. Connor's is a lot different than Sam; he always tries to help me feel better about myself but it never works. He just doesn't make me as happy as Sam makes me.

I can't do this anymore.. This time, I really want to end it all. I really want to just OD (OD means overdose) and get it all over with. I'm so unhappy with my weight; I'm 16 and I'm 140 pounds and it really makes me upset... I don't think I'll ever be happy with myself. My looks are disgusting, who wants to have plain brown hair and a stupid face with stupid eyes and a stupid nose? Definitely not me.

I tell Connor that I'm going to Wallgreens to get some "cold medicine"

I actually am getting a few boxes of Xanax to "sleep" for a while.

And by a while, I mean forever.

----------

As I'm walking to Wallgreens, I start thinking of how bad I feel for Connor. He loves me so much and I know it.

But it's hard to love someone when you can't love yourself.

I walk, trying to hurry so that I can get these thoughts out of my head. As I reach Wallgreens, I start feeling that someone is watching me. I hate that feeling and it happens all the time to me. I quickly grab some Xanax(sleeping pill used to overdose) and get on my way.

As I walk out of Wallgreens, I notice a man sitting without food or water or warmth. It makes me sad seing some people that can't afford to even live. I walk over to him and give him my change. He looks up at me.

I know those eyes.

I scrunch my eyebrows, confused and worried. As he takes my change, he smiles.

"Thank you." He says and shakes my hand.

As he holds my hand. I look at his arm.

He has the scar.

It's him.

I start trying to run away, but he doesn't let go of me. He pulls my arm violently and slaps me across the face. He pulls me towards a creepy white van and shoves something in my face.

My body goes limp.

I drop my bag of Xanax.

----------

Sam's P.O.V.

I'm not a perfect boy

My hair is fluffy

I go out of the video a lot

Sometimes I have a broken heart

Like right now

My friends and I always fight

Maybe some days, nothing goes right

Like today

But when I think about it and take a step back, off a cliff, into a pit of dreadful depression,

I remember how amazing Hazel is

And through all my imperfections

She hates me

*that was Mackenzie's idea of funny. Don't ask why, just go with it. Here's the real ending of the chapter.*

I can't live anymore. I'm done with life... I can't live knowing that Hazel doesn't love me. A life without Hazel.. isn't a life at all.

I decide to walk to Wallgreens. If I can't be with Hazel, then I won't live. It won't happen, and I won't let it happen.

As I go to get some Xanax to OD, I decide to grab a pen and paper to were what I'm feeling and tell all the guys that I'm happy that they are helping me out. I buy my things and walk out to the parking lot.

I notice something on the ground, it looks like a Xanax box. At least someone is feeling the same as me tonight.

I look at the receipt in shock.

Hazel bought this.

But where is she?

~~~~~~~~~

CLIFFHANGER QUEEN STRIKES AGAIN HAHAHAHA

I am so sorry for this chapter I literally almost cried. I'm like super sad it will be happier later I promise.

BUT OMG I GOT 500 TYSM ILY GUYS <3333

Bye bye now:) :*