4)
It wasn't the first time I dreamt of dads death. I've dreamt of it a few times before, but
this time was the first time I woke up yelling. I sat up and turned on my lamp and catch
a glimpse of the clock, 3.00, and then I felt this pain in my chest. I couldn't breath, I felt
like the walls were closing in on me. I ran to the bathroom as fast as I could. Could it be
that I was having a Panic Attack! I find my breath and I quickly run the bath. I run to
my room grab my iPhone, change into some shorts and rush back to the bathroom still
gasping for air. I quickly jump into the warm water and I can breath a bit better now. I
play my Lana playlist, she seems to calm me down. I try to catch my breath. I look down
and I see my reflection. I see tears pouring down my face. I didn't even realize I was
crying until now, I could still feel the pain in my chest.I turn my head to the side, and
see my razor, I grab it and press it against my arm. I look at the water again. My music
starts to fade away, and then silence. I look back down expecting to see my reflection.
But I don't, I see Jake's face. It looks like he's trying to tell me something I can hardly
hear him. Then I hear his voice. At first it sounds like a mumble. Then I hear it, he
keeps repeating the same sentence. "Wake Up," he says this about 5 times until I feel
someone shaking my body. Then I open my eyes and find Jake holding me in his arms.
"What the hell were you think!?
"Where am I?"
"We're in your bathroom"
I look around and see that he's telling the truth, I look down surprised to see that the
water is clear.
"Why the hell are you asleep in the bathtub!" He said confused
"I... I woke up last night around dawn, and I had a panic attack,"
"So that's why you were asleep in the bathtub?"
"I guess I fell asleep last night"
"I swear you almost gave me a heart attack! I thought you were dead." Jake said with a concerned face.
"Come on let's get you outta there"
I stood up and the first thing I notice is that my fingers are all wrinkled. It looked
unattractive is I put them behind my back so Jake wouldn't notice. I step out of the
bathtub and Jake puts a towel around me. He grabs my arm and a look of
disappointment appears in his face. What did he see? I didn't cut last night, I remember
looking at the water and seeing it was clear. Then I remembered the night when I broke
my glass bottle collection I found my blade on the floor and cut.
"I can explain" I said nearly balling my yes out
"I.. I... I"
"You broke our promise" he said with watery eyes
"I know, and I'm so sorry, I won't do it again!!" I said with a tear rolling down my cheek
