I need to help u survive

chapter 5

I wake up with Harrys arms wrapped around me and I feel so safe. I pick up my phone to see a text from alex:
We've decided to give u up.
How? Why? What will I do now? Was I not good enough? Ugh. I slid out of harry arms with my phone in hand and head down to the kitchen I look in the utensil draw.... I found one I sit at the island... harry would notice if I did it on my arm... my leg...my thigh I press the tip agents my thigh and glide it across a slit follows the knife behind getting darker and darker as it fills with blood. I stand and put the knife in the sink and place it back in the draw I look down as blood now running down my leg I rip off some kitchen roll and wipe it up off my leg I tence my leg as i scroll through social media looking at what the boys are saying but the one thing that really hurts is conors tweet: so glad that jack_maynard and alexmcdonald08  can actually live there lives now.
Did they all hate me? I tence again and watch the blood roll down and around my leg when I hear some noises I qickly wipe away the satisfaction and roll down the pair of tracksuit bottoms and walked upstairs to find simon walking out of his room "morning si" I say walking past him "morning grace" He replys I walk into Harrys room he's sat up in bed looking at his phone he looks up at me and he leaped out of bed toward me "oh gracie I saw on twitter are u ok?" He says as he pulls me into a hug I just couldn't hold the tears so I just cryed "they gave me up harry " I cry "they gave u up?!" He asks I nod and show him the message form alex "please don't tell anyone" I beg he nods.

Afew hours later harry and I walked down stairs and vikk ran at me and hugged me and whispers "I know" I hug him tighter vikk let's go and I see simon staring at me "grace can I speak to u plse" He says I nod as he takes my hand and guides me to his room "this morning when we met I noticed..." He began then he placed his hand right on the cut i made earlier I wince in pain "grace I know that u did that I noticed this morning why?" He asks "I'm not saying but plse simon if u were a best friend then u wouldn't tell anyone u can't even tell jj or harry u can't tell know one" I say he nods "at least let me see the ingury." I nod and he goes over to a draw and gets out a pair of shorts and hands them to me I change into the shorts and luckily they had an ajustable waist I sat next to simon and rolled up the shorts. He's face looked shocked and sad "also grace I know about it" He says after he insisted on cleaning it and after I'm back in there merch he opens the door I slam it shut "who told u!" I almost yell "I over heard it" He says I then heard footsteps up the stairs then a knock "who is it?" I ask "jj" the person on the other side of the door says I open it "what's up with the yelling?" He asks as he walks in "simon knows about..."  I start then whisper the rest "my disorder" "simon what do u think u know?" Jide asks "grace has an eating disorder." He exclames