A Malec Story

Chapter 17: Eleventh meet - Fearless

Fearless

(CoA ch.14)

Alec

Alec felt awful when he awoke the next morning. The conversation from last night came screaming back at him. Jace telling him he didn't care. Asking Magnus to help him convince Alec. As if Alec didn't know. Of course he knew. He knew Jace didn't care. Yet it had hurt more than he thought it would. Hearing Jace say the words aloud. Knowing Jace would never love him back, not in the way he loved Jace. He had been tossing and turning all night, thinking about it. And more than once Magnus's pained expression came into view. The warlock had been hurt, Alec knew. He was surprised Magnus cared that much. Then again, he guessed it wouldn't be a nice experience to be denied like that. We're not dating. A flat out lie, right into his face. Alec felt terrible about it. He wondered if he could fix it. If he could go back to Magnus after last night. Would Magnus let him? He was scared that the warlock was going to push him away now, and he found he didn't want that. He really liked Magnus and he liked spending time with him. It wasn't just the kissing or making out, which he loved. But it was Magnus himself, whom he liked. His flair. His jokes. His uncontrolled temper. His magic. The way his cat eyes shine. The way he called him Alexander. Alec let out a deep sigh, thinking how he had made a mess of this. He leapt out of bed. He needed to go back there, he decided. See if he could fix things with both Jace and Magnus. With Jace, to go back to where they were, not talking about him liking guys and definitely not showing Jace how he really felt. And with Magnus, to see if he would have Alec back. Although he had no idea how to accomplish that.

Alec put on a clean pair of jeans and a black sweater and headed out of the Institute, avoiding his mother. Maryse had yelled at him last night, telling him to stay away from the trouble that Jace now seemed to be. Alec had no inclination to listen to her. He knew she was worried, but that was no reason for him to leave Jace alone. He took the subway to Luke's place and stopped on his way at a bakery to buy a bucket load of doughnuts, thinking people might want to have some breakfast. Carrying the white box he approached the house and sat down at the porch for a moment, gathering his courage. "Alec!" He heard a familiar voice call his name and his head shot up. Jace was walking towards him, looking pale, as if he hadn't slept all night. "What are you doing here?"

Alec shrugged and got up. Jace opened the door and Alec walked after him into the living room. His eyes instantly drawn to Magnus, who was dropping what seemed like a towel on the floor and looked at him squarely. He looked back and felt a tiny flare of relief, because there wasn't anger in Magnus's eyes. He couldn't tell what it was he did saw there. Was it longing? Or regret? Alec averted his eyes and stared down at the floor while Jace did the talking as usual.

While eating the doughnuts Alec brought, the group got to talking about the demon attack last night and how Clary evidently scared the demons off with a rune. A new rune, one she'd seen in a dream. Luke ordered her to get her sketchbook to show them all her ability to create new runes.

Though Alec was mildly interested in this new turn of events, he felt too preoccupied with his own problems to really participate. He was leaning against the piano, behind Jace who was sitting on the piano bench. Magnus, who sat in a chair at the other end of the room was avoiding looking at him, which made him uncomfortable. He wanted to know what was going on in his head. He was afraid that Magnus would throw his crush on Jace in his face. While he was considering all the awful things Magnus could think about him or say to him, Clary was trying to come up with a rune to draw. When Jace suggested Fearless Alec's interest was piqued. Fearless, that sounded like a useful rune to him. He looked over at the paper on which Clary started drawing a complicated rune, it looked kind of pretty.

"There," she said, when she was finished and showed them the rune.

"Cool," Alec said.

Jace walked towards her and took the paper from her. "But does it work?"