Forbidden

chapter - 1 - wrath

Saturday 4:00pm
October 6, 2018

"You know I love you, right?" Aiden snuggled closer to me. He wrapped his arms around my naked body and pulled me closer to his own nakedness. I could feel the warm after glow of what we did a few minutes earlier as he held me against his chest and it felt really comfortable.

"You're my brother. I know that you'll always love me, no matter what." I faced him, looked directly into his hazel eyes, ran my fingers through his black silky hair and just smiled.

"That's not what I meant, Nics." He grinned.

I giggled softly then nodded. "I know and know that I love you, too." I paused for a while. Everytime I say this, it gives me a churning feeling in my stomach, telling me that I shouldn't say it, but I do anyway. "More than as just a brother. You happy? I said it again." He smiled back then pressed his lips against mine, gently at first but it didn't take long before it turned more passionate.

I couldn't get enough of him. I know it's wrong to feel this way. I know everything we're doing goes beyond immorality. I still can't help it. It feels so good, and, I don't know how but what we're doing just doesn't seem wrong. It felt right. It felt normal. When I'm with him, I've never felt more sane than I was since the 18 years of my existence.

He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me to move on top of him but just as I was about to, I heard paper bags dropping on the floor and the sound of glass shattering with it.

We snapped out of our reverie and both looked at the doorway which was supposed to be closed. There stood our mother, wide eyed, frozen in what seemed like a catatonic state, with her mouth gaping wide open.

"Mom! What are you doing home?" was the first thing I heard. It was Aiden who spoke out. He was grabbing a pair of his boxers that were sitting on my bedside table. He also tried to cover me up by pulling the blanket over me.

"Me?!" There was ice in her voice. I knew then that we were both in deep trouble. "Nicole, get dressed. You, Aiden…" she moved closer to us, grabbed Aiden by the wrist then pulled him away, to the point that he was almost being dragged away.

I stood up and was about to follow but she looked at me with her piercing stare before slamming the door to my room shut and locking it from the outside.

I heard shouting from downstairs which echoed through our hallways. "What the fuck were you thinking? You are not to come near your sister! You are not to leave the house with her. You will stay in your room!" She slammed a door which I'm guessing is his bedroom door. I knew she slammed it louder than usual —when she's angry and that's almost everyday— because his room is in the basement and mine is in the second floor. Then, I heard footsteps approaching, and they were approaching fast.

I returned to my bed, sat near the headboard and curled into a fetal position. As I hugged my knees close to my body, all I could think of was that I was never going to see Aiden again.

I didn't think my heart could beat any faster but when I heard the door unlock, it did. I felt my heart racing like never before. It felt like it wanted to bust out of my chest, but it wasn't because of fear for what she might do to me. It was because of my fear of what punishments she had in store for Aiden.

She sat on the corner of my bed in silence, took a deep breath, then stared directly in my eyes. I could feel her glare. It was like the sharpest daggers coming in from every angle, piercing me, and watching me bleed. It was paralyzing.

I have seen this look before. When I was little, I got bullied a lot. I fought back this one time where one kid ended up in the nurse's office with a concussion and a black eye. I felt good. I felt victorious. That didn't last because when she got there, she blamed me for everything. She made it look like it was my fault that I was being bullied. She gave me the same look she was doing to me now.

"You are not to speak to your brother. You are not to look at him. You are not to cross paths with him. You are not leaving this house without me by your side. I'm to pick you from school everyday. You are not leaving your room unless for family dinners." She said. Darkness loomed all over my room as she said those conditions.

She didn't wait for my response. She just got up and walked stright to the door but before she left she added, "Oh. And no dinner for tonight. You already ate anyway." She slammed the door shut behind her then I heard it locking from the outside.

I sat there terrified, but I was sure of one thing. She can't make me stop loving my brother, no matter how hard she fucking tries.