Maybe Just Happy - Kurt Cobain Fanfic

thirty: blurry hope

I awoke to the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. My heart fluttered as I wondered how the fuck it were even possible that I wasn't dreaming.
"How is he even mine?" I smiled, sleepily.
Kurt was singing "And I Love Her" by the Beatles as he strummed his guitar softly.
"She gives me everything
And tenderly
The kiss my lover brings
She brings to me
And I Love Her.."
I quickly sat up from the bed, tears welling up in my eyes, and a smile across my face.
Kurt glanced up at me, smiling at me as he realized I was awake.
His eyes gleamed in the sunlight that was shining through the window.
I was mesmerized.
"Bright are the stars that shine
Dark is the sky
I know this love of mine
Will never die
And I love her.
A love like our will never die
As long as I hold you near me.."
He finished the song and slowly looked up at me.
"Kurt.." I whispered, in absolute awe over what I had just witnessed.
He sat his guitar down and laid down beside me.
"I love you." He smiled, a hint of shyness on his face that made my heart flutter.
"Kurt, I love you so much." I kissed him softly, relief flooding through me as I was reminded this was reality and not just an amazing dream.
"Violet, I don't know what this is going to hold. I'm not really sure where we will go. I don't have much money. I just..I don't know.." He mumbled.
"Kurt Cobain do not even tell me you are giving up again. You said last night..you told me to run away with you last night and I can't just be away from you, you promised Kurt, you promised you were-"
I was frantic.
I just couldn't help it.
I was so scared that he was going to just disappear from me once again.
He cut me off from my spastic words, grabbing my face in his hands.
"I'm not going to leave you, Violet. I just don't want to put you in a position where i have no idea what will happen. I will protect you with my life. But where are we gonna go, Vi? It just..it scares me."
I sat in silence for a moment.
If we were going to do this, we needed a plan, and fast.
Suddenly, it hit me.
Why hadn't I thought of this already?
"Kurt, I have an idea." I told him, watching his eyes light up a little.
"What is it?" He smiled a bit.
"My aunt knows about you, Kurt. She wouldn't turn us away. She said she would have loved to meet you. So, I'll go back to New York. For now. And you can come with me. My mom won't have to know that. She'll just think I'm going back like I'm supposed to."
"You told her about me? Wait, Violet..what the hell is this on your leg? What the fuck did you do to yourself?!" He quickly sat up, running his hand down my bare leg as he spotted the scar in the shape of a "K".
I pulled away, my face turning red in embarrassment.
"I wasn't thinking, Kurt. I was just really upset.." I mumbled, covering my leg up with the sheets.
"God damnit, Violet. Promise me you will never do that again to yourself, do you hear me?"
I nodded my head, unsure of the right words to say.
His eyes saddened a bit as he sat in silence for a moment.
"I have to do something today, Violet..before we go." He sighed.
I already knew what he was meaning when he said that.
He was going to tell his girlfriend he could no longer be with her.
"She already sees it coming. But I have to go tell her, and get my car and some other things. Violet..you're going to need to tell your mother you're going back, she's probably already fucking flipping out that you didn't come home, you know? Do that. Make up some lame excuses if you need to. I know you can." He smiled slightly.
My nerves were out of control.
I was already risking a lot.
I was probably already in trouble.
But, Kurt was right.
Only one more month.
What more could they do?
She had already sent me away, and I would be going back like I'm supposed to. Only with Kurt by my side this time.
"You can do this, Violet. I know you can." Kurt kissed my face as I climbed out of the white van.
"Yeah, Violet. You can do this! You guys are crazy motherfuckers. But I'm on your side." Krist chuckled.
"Now, go. Hurry. Get your things, tell her some bullshit story and get out. Remember, if she tries anything crazy or tries to hold you hostage, you run to Krist's place where I will meet you there. I love you, Violet. I'll see you soon. You're strong. You can do it." Kurt kissed me one last time before I began running down the sidewalk.
I burst through the door, and saw my mother sitting on the couch with a man I had never seen before.
"Oh, good. You're back. I'm not even going to ask where you were, Violet. I know you're having trouble coping with a lot. I want you to meet Steve. My boyfriend." My mother's tone of voice was unlike anything I had ever heard come out of her before.
I was left dumbfounded by what I was witnessing.
"Boyfriend?? What about my father..your HUSBAND who is dying in a hospital bed?!" My voice shook for a million different reasons.
"Violet, you and I both know that your father and I weren't going to last much longer." She sighed, struggling to keep eye contact with me.
"And you couldn't wait until he's not fucking DYING?! What the fuck is wrong with you?! This is wrong. So wrong. And i don't stand for it. I'm getting my things. And I'm going back to aunt Laura's house. I refuse to live with you. I refuse to stand here a second longer. You failed me, now you failed dad in such a way, I don't think I can ever forgive you. Steve, I'm this horrible lady's daughter. And I hope she makes you less miserable than she made me." I wiped my tears with an angry face, and ran up the stairs.
I could barely focus to gather my things, but I did it as quickly as possible with my mind set on getting out as quickly as I could.
"That's no way to talk to your mother, young lady." Steve snarled his nose as he approached me in my room.
My stomach was in knots with pure anger.
"Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do? Fuck off, asshole. Get out of my room." I spat, angrily.
Before I could form another thought, or speak another word, his hand was flying straight to my face.
He slapped me with such force that I fell to the ground in shock.
"You'll do whatever I say." He growled.
"Mom!!!" I yelled, backing myself as far away as I could and against my wall.
"Your mom can't help you, she knows she'll get it too." He grinned.
I couldn't believe this. Not any of it.
I was trapped.
Trapped in my own room.
My mind put all of its focus on Kurt.
He couldn't save me.
No one could.