Maybe Just Happy - Kurt Cobain Fanfic

fourty eight: stardust womb

I awoke to a distant feeling, and the sound of beeping hospital monitors.
I already knew that Kurt wasn't there with me even before I opened my eyes.
I reached for his hand, a weak cry escaping my lips when I found nothing there to latch onto other than the cold air of the hospital and the stiff blankets.

"Hey! You're awake! How ya feelin'?" Sarah's voice was coming from the other side of the tiny room, and I felt slightly relieved that I wasn't alone.

"I'm fine..it's this baby that i'm concerned about..you don't understand, Sarah..I can't lose this baby.." I bit on my lip, weak in the knees with fear of what she may have already known.

"Violet, the baby is fine. Relax a little. The doctor told me you need plenty of rest, but the baby is fine..and a little bigger than what they thought." She smiled, squeezing my hand as I felt both relief and confusion drown me.

"..Sarah please explain, before you convince me that my baby is some sort of mutant or something. Bigger?" I asked her, shifting around in my small bed as my nerves refused to let me remain still.

"Violet, relax. I meant you're a bit farther along in pregnancy than what they thought. Everything is fine." She smiled kindly before handing me a tiny, black photo with a little face in the middle. A little human..who already made me think of Kurt. My face was now soaked with tears as my eyes locked on the image in front of me. Our baby. And I suddenly wanted nothing more than for him to have been by my side.

"Where's Kurt?! Does he know everything is okay? God he must have been so fucking worried. Will you go get him?" I asked her, eager to know where he was.

Her face sank as she sighed, breaking our eye contact as if she had been preparing for this moment, and leaving me on edge.

"Um..Violet. They took Kurt to jail. He told me to tell you..he loves you so much and to please not worry. So don't. Okay? Everything will be fine."

I immidiately sat up from my uncomfortable bed like a spring.
I knew his anger had gotten control of him, and I could only hope the best of the outcome.
I was worried.
Kurt didn't need to be in jail, and my heart raced as I thought of how he was currently stuck there.
Probably worried sick and scared to death.

"Dave and Krist are there now to see if they can bail him out. Asshole cops, man. It wasn't even that bad, besides..the dude got what he deserved. If I were Kurt I would have done the same thing. Could of been worse..the asshole only got twenty seven stiches. And a missing front tooth." Sarah smirked, taking a seat at the end of my bed.

"Violet..please don't think that you can't take some time off from the band. Any time you need, you shouldn't hold back from it. It's pretty clear that you're overwhelmed as hell right now. We understand. And it doesn't make you weak. You're tough as shit. You need the rest, though." She was observing the way I was holding the bump growing from my lower abdomen, gazing down at my unborn child with relief and joy.

"Yeah..thanks..a small break wouldn't hurt. But you know me..can't stay off stage very long." I smirked.

There was suddenly a commotion at the door to my hospital room, and my heart was already in my throat before it even opened.

Relief had flooded my entire body twice within a half hour of me being awake..and this time, I couldn't force back the stinging tears.

Kurt was now rushing through the door of my tiny hospital room, practically walking straight through it rather than opening it, and white in the face with fear.
He still didn't know.
His eyes electrocuted me slowly as he stood there speechless, and teary eyed, eager for someone to break the news to him.