i am so excited
for life.
i look forward
to waking up
in my own apartment
walking quietly
to look out a window
and stare at the fresh snow.
i could stare all night
and no one would tell me otherwise.
i am excited
for hot summer nights
tangled in silk sheets
clean
and unbearably happy.
i look forward
to all the aching in my heart
to breathing
and breathing
and breathing
until i need breath no more.
i am excited
for glowing christmases
and crisp autumns
and booming springs
and passion summers.
i can't imagine not living
every drop of life i am allowed,
because i am strong enough to live it.
it may not be accepted
to be alive
but i want to live so badly
so badly
so badly
it hurts.
life is hard:
suck it up
and live harder.
