Counting Stars // Normila

21

Everything in Houston seemed to be lit by florescent lights. Even at one a.m. everything was piercingly bright.

Normani sat in a booth alone, her gaze fixed on her fidgeting hands which lay in her lap. She played with the frayed ends of her t-shirt, noticing how it no longer had Camila's scent. It had been Camila's though so that gave her some sense of comfort.

A mug was place in front of her and Normani flinched. She glanced up to meet her mother's gaze.

"Thanks." She muttered enclosing the warm mug in her grip. Her mother slipped into the opposite seat wordlessly and reached across the table to hold one of Normani's hands.

"Look at me." Her mother commanded gently giving Normani's hand a squeeze. Normani inhaled deeply before peering at her through her long black waves.

"Are you okay?" she asked gently noting Normani's smeared mascara.

Normani shrugged in response, truly not knowing how she felt. Her mother sighed and moved so she was sitting beside Normani. She wrapped her arm around her daughter's shoulders and held her close.

"You're grandmother loves you so much. She's just very close minded. She'll come around though. It may take time but she will." She informed Normani feeling the girl's arms hug her tightly around the waist.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything." Normanj mumbled closing her eyes. They were sore from the combination of bright lights and crying. "We'd be at home happy right now if I just kept my mouth shut."

Her mother withdrew and turned to make eye contact. "Don't you dare apologise for coming out to me. Don't you dare feel guilty about being yourself. I am so proud of you Normani. You are so brave and I applaud you for that. Your grandmother is a stubborn woman but that will pass, with distance and time. And until then we shall be fine. I would rather we live on the streets than you be unhappy. Do you understand?" she pleaded with her daughter, willing her to believe it was okay.

Normani nodded and sat stationary for a moment. "How did you know?" she asked simply turning so she was now sitting cross legged on the chair facing her mother.

Andrea furrowed her eyebrows and sipped her coffee. "I had a suspicion ever since Camila's mom mentioned how you and Camila were cute together. Although you didn't act like more than friends so I brushed it off. I thought maybe she was commenting on your friendship. Today however I went in to your room to check did you have laundry to be done and I saw the letter on your bed. I know it was breaking your privacy but I have been worried about you. You are not the same girl I met in Alabama. So when I read the letter it all clicked and I couldn't let your repressing go on. I had planned a civil conversation with your Grandma but as you saw....things got out of hand." She explained while Normani observed.

Normani felt as though the natural response to the invasion of her privacy was to be angry but her mother's concern and support forced it to evaporate instantly.

"So what now?" she asked finally unsure what was ahead of them. Andrea glanced to their two duffel bags on the opposite seat.

"Now," she sighed, "We find somewhere to spend the night."

"Sorry about this Dinah." Normani said pulling on her pyjama's pants while her friend pulled sheets from the closet. "As I told you on the phone it's no trouble. When you didn't text me you were home I was worried. I was up reading a manuscript anyway." Dinah assured her walking into the living room where she had created a makeshift bed for Normani's mom on the couch.

"Are you sure you two won't share my room?" Dinah asked fretful.

"Honestly this is perfect. You and Normani share. This sofa is more comfortable than my bed at home." Andrea reassured Dinah who still didn't look convinced.

"Okay but if you change your mind I'm literally a door away. There's food and drinks in the fridge. I'm not saying I drink wine, but there may be some in the cupboard." Dinah smiled kindly.

"Thank you Dinah. Everything is impeccable. I'm just going to step outside and make a call but you head to bed. Don't mind me." Normani's mother gave Dinah's arm a quick squeeze as she stepped outside the door, her fingers tapping at her phone.

Dinah re-entered the bedroom to find Normani cross-legged at her desk, re-reading the email.

"You okay?" she asked pulling back her duvet cover. Normani nodded and tucked the letter back into her bag. She slid into the other side of Dinah's king bed as Dinah flicked the light off.

They lay in silence before Normani sighed.

"Did you know I'm gay?" she questioned not expecting an answer. Dinah reached across and found her hand. She held it gently in her own. "Honey, I think everyone but you saw that you're gay."

"I know now." Normani confirmed letting her eyes shut suddenly overwhelmed with exhaustion. "Thanks Dinah for everything." She yawned. Dinah yawned due to the contagious nature of the act and both girls snickered.

"It's cool. Night Normani."

"Night."

Both girls fell into deep slumbers, hands still entwined.

Andrea paced outside the apartment as the dial tone sounded. After several rings it was answered. "Hello?" arose a questioning voice on the other end. "Hi Sinu, it's Andrea Hamilton."

"Oh Gerard give me one moment."

There was the sound of rushing and footsteps. A minute passed before there was the creak of door hinges and then Sinu's voice sounded again.

"Hi sorry about that. I was sitting with Sofia and Camila on the couch. It's girl's night."

"That's no problem. Is Gerard not with you?" Andrea inquired out of common courtesy.

"No he's back in Atlanta sorting through some work stuff." Sinu explained nonchalantly. "So how are things?"

Andrea paused for a moment before deciding to be honest. That was the reason she had contacted Sinu out of all people.

"Normani's gay." She said not spending much time to articulate a fully descriptive sentence.

"Oh." Sinu gasped surprised. "How do you know that?"

"She told me and my mother tonight." Andrea sighed perching on the radiator in the hall.

"Oh well in that case I kind of know she's gay." Sinu related her voice apologetic. "I guessed as much. I'm fine with it." Andrea assured her.

"Really? If you're not it's okay. It has taken me awhile to come round."

"I really don't care about her sexuality. Her happiness trumps any religious or moral dilemma. My mother isn't as ...open minded." She explained. "She pitched a fit and Normani and I had to leave."

"Oh where are you now?" Sinu inquired curious and concerned.

"Well we're at Normani's friend's place but that's the main reason I'm ringing. I need a favor."