New Beginnings

Opposite Directions

Friday, October 27

Today was the funeral. I don't wanna write about, and I'm guessing you don't wanna read about it. All I'm going to say about it is, I'm feeling better today than the last few days. Speaking at the funeral was really tough, but extremely humbling. It also reminded me that I have to keep on moving forward. That's not to downgrade the pain, but it reminds me to remain hopeful.

My grandpa and Ava wanted to visit the school that I used to teach at. I was down for it because I just wanted to get my mind off of everything.

Ava immediately dragged Grandpa into the gym because the gym class was playing some game. He's in his late 70s, but that doesn't mean he's not active. I asked him if he would watch her while I went to visit people.

The first person I went to visit was Alice Samuelson, the eighth grade math and science teacher. Her door was shut because she was having a class, so I knocked, anxious to see her reaction.

When she opened the door, her face lit up. She threw her arms around me. Alice was one of my best friends down here in Alabama, but we haven't had much contact since I moved up to Iowa.

"Mr. Easton!" she shrieked. "Oh, my goodness!"

"Hey, how's it going?" I said quietly, trying to calm her down because her voice was so loud. I recognized some of the students in the classroom because it's a small town, and since I lived there for most of my life, I still know people.

She stopped class, and then somehow we started playing a game with the class. (There was only like five minutes of class left.)

When they were all out of the room, Alice pulled me into a hug, even though I saw her last night at the visitation. I didn't get to talk to her a whole lot though. "How are you doing with everything?"

"Eh, as good as expected."

She pulled away. "Rough week?" I nodded, biting my lip. "I heard you spoke at Kraus's funeral." Most of the teachers were requested not to go because they don't have enough subs in this district.

"Yup, that happened."

"How'd that go?"

"It's still really hard to talk about it out loud, so it sucked. I feel like yesterday was the worst day for all of this because I had a lot of time to think, and being back here messed with me, too. Today has been better."

"That's good, but it still sucks."

"Yeah, it does."

"How's Iowa?"

"Good." I paused. "Really cold. Apparently, was supposed to snow this weekend, but now they're saying it's not going to."

"Ha, I bet. When are you going back up?"

"Tomorrow." I chuckled a little. "There's literally nothing to do down here."

"Hey, now!" She elbowed me.

"I'm just kidding. Sort of, but since my grandpa flew down, I don't want to bore him too much down here."

"I thought your grandparents were all gone," she told me.

"Oh, yeah, by the way, I reunited with my dad and his family over the summer." Her dad wasn't in her life growing up either, so I kind of felt bad about telling her this. I didn't wanna rub it in.

"Really? How'd that go?"

"Emotionally draining, but it's... I'm glad I met him before Kraus died, ya know? Not to replace Kraus, but...yeah..."

"I get that. Are you close to your dad?"

I thought about this for a moment. "Well, we've had a lot of really hard conversations, but about a month ago, he came to visit me. Then we got into this huge argument, and he left my house without saying goodbye. He ended up driving back to Kansas City, where they live, with my half brother. And that was hard to recover from, but I think if we're careful and honest with each other, it's going to bond us closer and closer over time. I mean, he knows I need some time to fully trust him. I'm close with my little brothers, too."

"Really? That's so awesome. I'm so happy for you," she told me.

"And, I also called my sister, Stacey, last week."

She raised her eyebrows. "Oh, man..."

"Yeah, she's doing good. At least for someone who is in prison. It's weird because the last six months have been extremely emotional, and not in a bad way, for the most part—in fact, they've been really amazing, but then this really tragic thing happens, and I barely even know how to handle it. Like, it's like my mind is being pulled in opposite directions, so it's messing with me because I truly am content, and my faith has never been stronger, but that doesn't mean it's an easy road."

She nodded slightly. "The way you carry yourself is different, too," she said.

"Really? How so?"

"Well, I guess today there's a heaviness in your eyes, probably because of everything, but you're also more confident. You seem more relaxed, despite everything."

"Oh, believe me, teaching up there is way less stressful."

"So, you're happy?"

"Yeah." The genuine tone in my voice made my smile.

"I'm so happy for you," she said. "I've been looking at places, too." Her voice was lowered when she said that. "But I don't know if I want to leave because so few of the teachers care about these kids."

"Yeah, that's why I didn't want to leave, but I served my time in this town, and I had to get Ava out of there."

She pressed her lips together. "Seventy-five percent of our students from last year are now averaging As and Bs in all of their classes. That has never happened before, and when surveyed why this was happening, a lot of them said it was because of you."

"Wow," was all I knew how to say.

"They really want you to move back."

I folded my arms, leaning against her board. "Not happening. You guys can figure it out."

"'You guys'? Is that what y'all are saying up there?"

I threw my hand over my mouth. "Oh, shoot, yes. I guess they've changed me."

I also had the opportunity to go the high school wing and see some of my former students. Some of you may remember Nancy, one of the girls who almost failed my class, and I'm proud to announce that she has all As. It was so humbling to see a lot of my former students today because they're all turning into decent human beings.