Let Me Hear It Once [Akihiko Sanada] -HIATUS-

Round 6: Whispers in the Dark

May 27, 2009

Momiji Sakakibara's POV

'I really screwed up...'

Those words repeated themselves over and over inside my mind as I sat in the steaming water of the bath tub. My knees were drawn close to my chest, and all I could do was stare at the water's ripples and the bottom of the tub. After how I had humiliated myself in Tartarus the day before yesterday, I didn't want to face anyone in the dorm, especially Akihiko. Everyone has come up to try to talk to me about what happened, but I didn't reply to them. I didn't want to see them. Not like this. I don't know why I was so terrified of the Shadows. I can't pinpoint the reason as to why I would freeze up at just the sight of those hands... Those... long hands that could squeeze the very life of me... Why did I feel like I was back with-

I trembled harshly, biting down onto my lower lip as to fight back the tears of fear,'  Why am I so afraid?! I don't understand...' Something brushed against my cheek; a red fabric. Charlotte was squeaking at me, rubbing her white cheek against my own. I had summoned my Persona in secret; I shouldn't have to hide from myself. I looked up to the mouse, who stared at me without her face ever changing. "No..." I murmured to myself, watching as she floated before me," I-I know why... We know why..." 

"YOU TRAITOR!" 

My eyes widened, and Charlotte tilted her head to the side with a squeak. 

"WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST DIE?! WE COULD'VE BEEN HAPPY! IT'S YOUR FAULT! ALL OF IT!" 

His voice... He's so angry at me. 

So, so angry. 

Tears dripped down my cheeks, large and hot as my hands began to tremble. 

"GOOD FOR NOTHING SCUM! JUST DIE ALREADY! DIE, DIE, DIE!"

I snatched Charlotte with my arms, and buried my face into her tiny shoulder as I began to whimper," I'm ...sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry...!" She squeaked harshly, but her scarves brushed against my tear-stained cheeks affectionately. I nuzzled into her, hoping that she would be able to force the voices away from my mind," I-I'll be good, I promise!" 

"YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT, CAN YOU?!" 

But even I knew that Charlotte wouldn't be able to push him away. 

After all... She's me. 

All I can do now is what I always do. 

I cried, " I'll do ...better! You'll see! I...I can be worthy! I can be!" 

Akihiko Sanada's POV

School was odd today. Throughout class, I kept glancing over to Momiji's desk from the corner of my eye. It was strange, not seeing her focus on the lecture and making our classmates happy with the sound of her voice. But every time I thought about her, I was forced to remember her distressed figure in Tartarus. I could still hear her screams, and feel her shuddering form against my chest as I escorted her out of Tartarus. Everyone was so concerned about her, but I waited until Shuji arrived the next day to explain what had happened. We're all deeply concerned about this. If Momiji isn't cut out for battle, then she won't be able to fight along side us. We all know that this could destroy her, but we can't help her unless we know the reason why she reacted the way she did. Normally, a reaction like that is a sign of a power over Persona awakening, and I've only seen slight panic attacks from Yukari. Something like this is highly irregular, and concerning. We just gained an ally. We can't afford to lose one. 

School had ended, and I found Mitsuru and the rest of the gang waiting for me at the front gate. "What's going on?" I asked. "We're going to see Dr. Soma." Mitsuru said. I raised an eyebrow, my bookcate thrown over my shoulder and held up with my fingers," What for?" Yukari played with her fingers," Dr. Soma's known Momiji-senpai for a long time, right?" I nodded, and she continued," So it's possible that he knows why she reacted the way she did the other night." Junpei frowned at this," You think she's afraid of the dark or maybe just the stress of being in Tartarus was the cause?" Yukari shrugged," Maybe, but Dr. Soma was the one that took care of her after the incident, so maybe he knows if she's easily stressed out or prone to panic attacks." I immediately agreed; we needed to get to the bottom of this.