Songs we wrote about each other (Sweeran Minific)

Part 2

“Goddammit, fine” Ed yelled, and drank the rest of the content in his bottle, leaving Taylor startled. He flipped the bottle upside down, then shook it in the air, showing everybody it was empty. “The beer is done. There’s no reason for me to stay here anymore.”

He got up, grabbed his guitar he brought there for no special reason, and went to the door, stumbling on the way to it, leaving. Taylor was just choked.

He literally admited he felt jealous towards her.

She exhaled, numb.

They were barely speaking to each other for weeks now, and she felt emptier every passing day, when she couldn’t call him to talk about something she was excited about, or something funny she found on the internet. All because of her stupid pride, and the useless fear that took over her mind ever since he found out about the song.

She was careless. Too careless. What was going on her mind when she decided to play it to him, thinking he wouldn’t notice every word in it described her feelings for him? His words still echoed in her head…

"Is this about me?" Ed asked when she finished singing it. She had unintentionally let go that there was a song she wrote recently she didn’t play to him, and he was so curious he pressured her to play it, until she relented.

His tone was a mix of a tease and nervousness, and Taylor was paralized.

"Why would it be about you?" She finally spoke, and she could tell that he knew she was lying.

"I don’t know" He whispered. "Forget it."

She couldn’t forget. Neither could him.

They spent weeks in a awkward mood, barely exchanging glances, barely texting. Then, at this important party they had to attend, Ed was drunk and Taylor could feel he was going to confront her about the song. So, she left.

He thought it was because Harry was also there, staring at her too much, almost undressing the blonde with his bright, young eyes. She was so beautiful that night, too beautiful for Ed’s taste. He hated all the attention she got from the male part of the event, he hated seeing her blush when she got a compliment from them, he hated when she thanked them with that sweet, kind tone she always uses. Then, he realized he wanted her, all of her, only for him.

But then she left.

He was angry at himself for thinking he could ever have her. She was angry at herself for thinking she would lose his friendship because a stupid song. So, when he finally found the courage to confront her at a different occasion, she lied again, yelling that it wasn’t about him to sound more convincing, but he was so sure…

All the hope slipped through his fingers like sea water. Then, he felt angry at himself for thinking she could ever write a love song about him. He spat out all his thoughts on what happened at the party, and Taylor was completely confused. She pushed him, breaking her phone. He yelled at her, breaking her heart.

Now she was staring at the phone he forgot on the floor, wondering if she should take it to him or leave it there, on the ground, and wait for him to come back and get it. Should she make a move or let him do it? She knew she was tired of being the one who waits. She was tired of being the one who says “I love you, too”. She wanted to confess first, she wanted to make the first move for the first time. She stared at the phone, and her friends stared at her, in silence. Then, she walked and grabbed it, leaving the house, searching for him in the garden full of colors, full of plants she choose herself, full of her.

"Ed!" She yelled. She didn’t see him at first, but then she realized he was leaning against his car, his hands in his pockets, his guitar on the ground beside him. She walked to him, and gave him the phone in silence. There was no sign in his eyes showing anger or aggressiveness. He was just tired. And so was she. Tired of so much fighting, tired of so many lies…

She leaned against the car next to him, and he didn’t move. She sighed. They stayed there for a while, observing the garden, observing the bugs flying over the flowers, almost unouticed, almost invisible in the dark. She looked at the ground, searching for the courage she had when she left the house, that faded so fast she almost didn’t notice.

They passed minutes in complete silence; But that didn’t mean that they were confortable with it. They just didn’t know how to say what they needed to.

"I’m sorry" Ed just mumbled, starting to walk by her towards the car, but she grabbed his wrist.

"No" She whispered. "I’m tired of this. I’m tired of… Running."

He looked away, his hand almost trembling at her touch. Her hand was now cold due the weather, in contrast to his, that were in the warmth of his pockets till a few seconds ago.

"It was about you" She simply mumbled, once for all. He expired, blushing. He knew. "I lied before because… I-I just don’t know how to approach this situation, Ed."

"Neither do I" He muttered.

"I know" She said. "And I realized the best way to deal with this is giving you… Options."

He assessed her words for a second, wary. “What do you mean?”

She sighed.

"You could choose to forget all of this… And we could go back to being friends with time. I could do that… If you wanted me to." She said, with imploring eyes. "Or… Or…"

"Or I could be with you" He interrupted her, shocking her with his words and the way he spoke without hesitation. "We could be together."

Taylor stayed silent for some seconds, trying to recover the punch in the heart she felt when she heard his words. That was all she wanted. “I didn’t say that.” She whispered. “The first option is the best for us.”

He seemed to think for a second. “What if I have my own option?”

"Do you?"

"Yeah."

"Why do I feel like it’s gonna be something bad…" Taylor mumbled more to herself than him, and Ed laughed softly.

"What do you think it is?" He asked, seeming curious even amidst all his anxiety.

She looked away, uncomfortable.

"Getting away from me" She replied. "Putting a end to our friendship. That could be a great option." She said, sarcastically. 

"That will never be an option" He mumbled.

She stared at his blue eyes, her eyebrows raised, in surprise.

"It won’t be" She agreed, nodding her head slightly.

That was all they knew as she embraced him tightly, promising to herself she would never put him thought something like that again, promising to herself she would just let things flow from now on, without pressure, without thoughtful choices. He buried his face in her hair, smelling the sweet scent of it. Having her on his arms again was such a relief. Then the same thought he had on the party hit him again.

"Can I kiss you?" He whispered in her ear.

"W-where?" She pretended to be dumb to hide her nervousness.

A nervous silence ensued for a while, until Ed mumbled:

"Everywhere."

She got in his car.