Little Brother~

A new door opens

As soon as Jungkook got back he begun to fire up his laptop locking the door despite the fact that his Hyung's haven't been in his room in best part of a week. He sat down at his computer and opened up the web browser and begun to look up searches for "Self-harm." He gained advice and information on a lot of different methods and tips, now all he had to do was put it into practice. Opening his door Jungkook went downstairs to the kitchen, rummaging through the drawers he tried to look for the keys to the car when Yoongi came in and called his name. Jungkook jumped and spun around blinking at him "OH hi hyung w-what are you doing in here?" looking around nervously Jungkook played with his sleeves "Kookie what are you looking for?" Jungkook sighed deciding to be honest "I was looking for the car keys..." Jungkook looked up to meet his hyung in the eyes, Yoongi smiled softly "come on then ill give you a ride, just say where" and walked out. Jungkook beamed happily and chased after him.

Jungkook did feel bad, as Yoongi was helping him without even knowing the real intent of their trip out. They went into a store where Jungkook purchased a medical kit, a lot of razors and some sterilising fluid, everything that the website told him he would need. Yoongi gave him a side glance and he explained that he needed new razors but that he always cut himself shaving so it was necessary. Yoongi shrugged off the lie and Jungkook paid the lady behind the counter before they went back to the car and back to dorm. When they arrived Jungkook went upstairs quickly shouting a thank you back to Yoongi, he ran straight past the others who were watching Min Jun colour and went into his bedroom, closing and locking the door once more.

Jungkook was scared, he didn't know how it would feel to intentionally cut himself. But the idea in a way thrilled him, he was thrilled by the fact that cutting himself could help to ease the stress that was building up and threatening to tear him apart. Jungkook opened the box of razors and took one out, he placed it carefully down and prepared the rest of his purchases thoroughly along the bed, he got up and cleaned the razor just to make sure it was sterile. When he had thoroughly prepared himself Jungkook sat crossed legged on his bed and removed his sweater. He placed it aside and put the razor to his wrist however he didn't feel depressed enough to cut...

After a few seconds he groaned and laid back on the bed, frustrated that he wasn't depressed enough to do it. How can someone not be depressed enough? What can I do... After thinking about what he could do he realised all he needed was to think about all the things that were making him depressed. My hyung's don't care about me... My hyung's don't take care of me... All I get is yelled at... I'm not good enough... I'm weak... Spineless... Pathetic... Suddenly before realising it, Jungkook had ran the blade down his arm for each separate negative thought he'd had... and he felt REALLY good about it. He watched the blood drip from the 7 lines across his wrist and smiled, he'd finally gained some satisfaction as he carried on that was for the next hour, his wrists, arms, thighs, they were all his canvas. When he was done he sterilised and covered the wounds, placing on sweat pants and a large, oversized, long sleeved shirt. Tonight he didn't even entertain them by sitting at the table and watching them eat, he just crawled into bed, content and letting sleep consume him.

He couldn't wait for tomorrow...no... He couldn't wait to make the next cut.