I woke up and changed. A black business skirt with a gray blouse and a black jacket to match. It was 7 a.m. I walked down stairs looking around at our... I mean my house. Its been a week. A whole week since I lost him. Why? Why in the name of God why is he gone? I collapsed down to the carpet below and cried and just cried.
"He's Gone", I screamed. I screamed repeatedly and sobbed into the new carpet. I layed for awhile.
He died he really died. But he didn't just die. No his life was taken from him. It was shot out of him. Shot 4 times in the chest. He was murdered. And by who? No enemy's. No betrayed lovers. I'm the only one he ever loved. So why? Why did he leave me? Who took him from me?
I was still sobbing on the floor when a pair of hands picked me up and cradled me. He softly spoke saying "Shhhhhh. It's ok. Evrything will be alright."
I still couldnt see but I knew by that voice it was Michael, my husbands best friend and best man in our wedding. He spoke again softly. " It's ok. Ryans on a better place now. He's happy and pain free. You have to have faith in God he'll get you through this. Shhhhh."
He brought me to my feet and went to the door to grab my shoes.
" I'll drive" he comanded.
When we got their there was only a select few of us. After all it was only the viewing. The rest of the funeral will take place this afternoon. As we walked into the church you could feel the dim mood and the feeling of death and depression. I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Ryans father. His eyes were glossy and he had stains of tears on his face. It was easy to see he hadnt slept well or at all. Telling his family was the hardest thing I've ever done. His father was heart broken. His son was his pride and joy. But now he is gone.
We walked up to the casket where he lays. He was wearing a black suit with a veridian green tie. It was his favorite color. He looked almost the same except his ring. I removedit when he died. It hangs from a silver chain that lies around my neck.
As we paid our respects, I did everything in my power to hold back the tears. But I just couldn't. I collapsed to the floor. I was picked up by Michael again. I wrapped my arms around his neck and just sobbed endlessly. As I started to settle down I whispered.
"He will never know his child and his child will never know its father."
Everyone had heard. They all smiled.
" Even though Ryan is gone. We have a new life to look forward to. My grandchild. " announced Ryans father.
We all looked one more time before they closed the casket.
