The funeral was quick and quite casual. A few songs here and there. Stories feom people who will forget Ryan in the years to come. Many did come to support him and many came to say their sorry for my loss or that they know how I feel.
I headed home with Micheal. the car ride was quiet. Micheal helped me into my bed and I went to sleep. For almost the first time in a week.
~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~
When I woke up I heard noise coming from down stairs. Ryan! Its Ryan! Thus was all a dream. I ran right out of bed and down the stairs and in to the kitchen. When I saw the person in the kitchen it wasnt Ryan. It was my best friend she was supposed to watch me today. She saw the look on my face and knew what I had been thinking.
She just said, "I'm sorry."
She cooked breakfast and went over our agenda.
"We have alot to do. Let's see here. First we need to sign some documents at the bank to release the life insurance policy. Then we have to make copys of the death certificates and we have to... clean out Ry's office"
I just stared at the table as tears fell from my face. I looked up at Skylar and asked "he's really gone isnt he?"
She came over to me and spoke softly, "yeah but its ok, as time goes by and things will be easier."
Her words were surprisingly motherly. She had never been the gentle type. She was like her own mother hard and stern. She was a world renound author and didn't have kids nor does she want any. Shes married to ryans brother jordan.
She helped me up after eating and helped me get dressed and ready to leave. We grabbed the empty moving boxes and jumped into the car.
Skylar started to explain how I was going to be put on a rotational schedule. So I dont do anything rash to harm myself ormy inborn child. After I lost my father Ryan had to stay by my side for a few weeks after trying to OD on prescription meds. She spoke, " I'll be with you on monday and tuesday, Jordan on Wednesday, Michael will be with you Thursday through Friday, Roxxane on Saturdays, and Brittany on Sundays."
Tomorrow I was going to be Jordan. I just looked out the window in sadness. Knowing it will be hard because he looks like Ryan.
We pulled up to the bank and walked inside. I signed all the papers and got back in the car. I hated this. They're all reminders of him. As the rest of our arrens came to an end I came home and slept til Thursday.
