i just want to die

chapter 1

"no one looks up anymore,

'cause you might get a raindrop in your eye

and heaven forbid they see you cry

as we fall in line,"

~"march to the sea"

~twenty Øne pilØts

Beep, Beep, Beep,

   

   I hear my alarm clock. I jolt my head up. I turn to see my alarm clock. It's a digital one. It's black with a pink outline. It sits right next to my broken picture frame of my family. I remember the day when the picture was shot.

       It was a nice hot summer day. We were at the beach. I remember feeling the sand in-between my toes. I was 8 at the time. My mother really wanted to get a picture of this day. She used to take pictures of everything, now she only thing she records now are sex tapes. My mother went up to a stranger and asked if they could take a picture of us. I was between my mother and father.

      I was brought out of my daydream when I hear a quiet knock on my door, I got up to my door and it was my mothers latest one-night stand, he was tall and skinny. He had black hair and blue eyes. He looked down at me and said: " Can you please turn off that damn beeping." Damn, I forgot to turn off my alarm clock. I quickly looked over my shoulder to see the time. The time was 7:30. SHIT IM GOING TO BE LATE! I quickly slammed the door in his face. I ran over to turned off my alarm clock and slammed the off button. Gladly school is only a 10-minute walk.

      I grab a Welcome To The black parade My Chemical Romance shirt, a pair of black skinny jeans and a few rubber wristbands. I slip on my outfit and I head to the bathroom.

      There's only one bathroom in my house and its all the way across the house. I open the door. Luckily there's no one in the bathroom. I walk over to the mirror and I start to do my hair. As the flat iron is heating up I stare at my reflection. I hate looking at myself but I can never look away. I see my ugly self. I see my ugly big brown eyes, my ugly small lips, my ugly nose, the only thing I like about how I look is my hair. Its black with purple highlights, with a deep side part. As soon as my flat iron got hot enough I started working on my hair. As soon as I got done with my hair I coat myself in perfume, as soon as I get down I headed downstairs.

      I go downstairs and instantly I smell the stench of alcohol. Without a second thought I grab my backpack and my purse, with that I headed out the door. I usually skip breakfast. As I start walking I realized that tomorrow is my dad's anniversary of his death. I feel my eyes start watering. No, I will not cry on my way to school. That's for home.

      As soon as I arrive I see Heather and her possi. She's the school's bitch. I put my head down and hope she doesn't see me. As soon as I thought I was in the clear I feel someone yank my backpack. I fall flat on my butt. I whimper in pain. I hear heathers laugh. she quickly stepped on my leg like I was a rug. I screamed out in pain. she looked down at me and said "that's what you get when you're a piece of trash" she and her possi laugh. I try to fight back tears. I quickly got up and ran to the bathroom.