Perks of Being a Winchester ⌲ DISCONTINUED!

18 | It's Okay

Lawrence, Kansas

2005

6 days after Jessica Moore died
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"Uncle Sammy?" Natalie asked with bright eyes as her uncle walked into the kitchen later that evening, where she was currently coloring in her coloring book at the table.

Sam turned his head to look at his niece, smiling gently. "What's up, sweet girl?"

"What's your favorite color?" she asked, tilting her head to the side.

Sam hummed, grabbing a bottle of water out of the fridge before taking a seat at the table across from his niece. "I'd have to say blue." he said, raising his eyebrows. "What's yours?"

Natalie hummed, and Sam couldn't help but smile fondly at the way she tapped her chin in thought. "I like all the colors. But I think purple is my favorite."

"Purple is nice." Sam smiled. "You know, purple was Jess' favorite color."

Natalie tilted her her head to the side curiously. "Your girlfriend?"

Sam nodded, despite his aching heart. "That's her."

"Uncle Sammy, what did Jess look like?" Natalie asked, propping her chin in her hands.

"Well, here, let me show you." Sam said, moving his hand into his pocket so he could pull out his wallet where he kept a picture of his late girlfriend. He handed it over to his niece, who took it carefully, as if it were fragile and would break it she held it too tightly or dropped it. "That's her."

"Wow," Natalie said softly, looking up at her uncle with a bright smile. "She has blonde hair, like Grandma and Mommy did!"

Sam smiled sadly and nodded. "She does, huh?" Apparently the yellow eyed demon has a thing for blondes.

"She's really pretty." Natalie said, gazing down at the picture. "Is that why you loved her so much?"

"Well, that was one reason." Sam chuckled. "But she wasn't just pretty. She was smart, and she was funny, and she could make anyone smile." he said. "Kind of like you."

Natalie beamed at that. "Really? You mean it?" she asked, her eyes bright.

Sam smiled gently and nodded. "I sure do." he said, booping her nose gently and making her giggle.

"Do you think Aunt Jess would have liked me?" The little girl asked with wide eyes, and Sam's heart ached when she called his late girlfriend "Aunt Jess".

"Oh, man, are you kidding?" Sam grinned, getting to his feet so he could scoop his niece into his arms. "She would have loved you." he said, sitting back down with the little girl in his lap. "I told her all about you. I showed her pictures of you when you were a baby. She thought you were so pretty." he said, smoothing a hand over her blonde hair gently.

Natalie wiggled so she could lean her head against his shoulder, messing gently with the buttons on his flannel. "You loved her." she said softly, and it was a statement, not a question.

Sam's eyes pricked with tears and he swallowed thickly, nodding. "Yeah. I did."

Natalie looked up at her uncle and frowned when she saw the tears in his eyes. She remembered her father telling her that the reason her uncle had been so upset earlier that week was because he missed Jess so much. It kind of reminded of her of the nights she would find her father in tears while looking at old pictures of him and her mother. It made her sad. She didn't like seeing her daddy, the strongest person she knew, so upset. But she was smarter than the average six year old and she knew it was kind of the same as when she got upset when Dean had to go to work and she missed him. Only at the end of the day, she got to see him again. Sam would never get to see Jess again.

She didn't say a word as she reached up to wrap her little arms around her uncle's neck and bury her face into his shoulder. "I'm sorry she's not here." she said softly, her voice slightly muffled by his shirt.

The tears in Sam's eye spilled over then and he wrapped his arms around the little girl, pressing his face into her blonde hair so she wouldn't see him cry. "Me too." he whispered, his voice thick with emotion.

Natalie leaned her cheek against his shoulder and patted his back gently in what she hoped was a comforting way. "It's okay, Uncle Sammy. It's okay to be sad." she said quietly, pulling away so she could gently wipe away the tears now streaking his cheeks with her chubby little fingers.

Sam smiled sadly and tipped his head to the side. "You're an amazing little girl, Natalie. You're so sweet, and you're so smart, and believe me, that'll go a long way when you get older. Don't ever let anyone tell you different or try to change you, okay?"

Natalie nodded quickly in response. "Okay. I promise." she said, throwing her arms back around her uncle's neck and burying her face into the crook of it.

Sam held his niece tight, rocking her gently and letting the warmth radiating from her small body bring him comfort.

"It's okay, Uncle Sammy." Natalie murmured into his neck. "I love you."

Sam squeezed his niece tighter, kissing her temple and letting a few more tears slip from his eyes. "I love you too, sweet pea. Thank you."

***

Later, when Dean came home from the store, Looney Tunes was playing quietly on the television and Sam was fast asleep on the sofa, Natalie curled into his side, her little hand gripping tightly to his tee shirt. Sam had his arm draped protectively around her, the other resting under his arm as a pillow.

Dean smiled, setting down the stuff be got before taking a blanket from the back of the sofa and draping it over the two of them. "Sleep tight, guys."

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