FOREST OF THE LOST

PART ONE

All life relies on instinct. Newborn children know instinctively to feed, and they survive in care until they can care for themselves. There is an instinct to live, to survive and at times instinct can sense, can detect danger, we just know sometimes when something is not right. There is also an instinct to learn or to find out about things. We so often have a need to know and sometimes we go after such knowledge even if it puts our very existence at risk.

Our need to know sometimes outweighs our need to survive or at least outweigh the need to continue on living the way we have always done before. We so often would rather know what it is we don't yet know than go on living without that knowing.

And into the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul ...

***

I have three candles burning. One of a decent size and two smaller ones both of which maybe are a third the size of the bigger one. The larger one is scented with vanilla, of the smaller two one is scented strawberry, and the other is toffee. Toffee, not one of the more regular or common scents for a candle I would think but it happened to be among the first three with which I had reached for and lit.

At first, one burns steady while the other two flicker erratically. A storm may be the reason why there is a power outage though I would have thought that I was locked up sufficiently to prevent any kind of draft getting in, then again if a draft is causing the flickering, then why aren't all three candles affected. I have them bunched together in the center of the room so if one flickers then they all should by my reckoning, but then again what do I know?

Speaking of which, I am alone in the upstairs front bedroom of a house I have recently moved into, and I am sitting on a wooden chair right by the window which I have nailed down a frame and boarded up . From the sounds of things outside, I might be better off moving away from the window and more towards the center of the room, closer to those candles just in case the worst should happen.

In case the worst should happen ... huh ... I have a habit of walking myself into situations that allow for such possibilities, situations which allow for the attraction of an if the worst should happen moment and I may be well on my way to walking myself into another such situation. Such a situation may not be imminent, but I am sure it is coming all the same. I have felt it for so long now that I am sure it is coming.

The wind is more than a little strong this evening and I can hear the sound of the sea as it acts up strong enough that its waters may splash up far enough to reach this far inland. The waters may only be a matter of only four or five thousand meters away though I am uphill, and I am fairly confident that flooding, if there is to be any, won't become an issue, well hopefully not to my new home anyway.

Briefly, a second candle steadies but it is only that, brief, its flicker soon returns. Strawberry has been a constant steady and it is toffee that momentarily steadies. Vanilla being the larger scented candle, does not show any sign of steadying.

Finding it difficult to guide my thoughts onto paper with only the light of three candles to write by, I have my cell phone off, there is no internet or signal connecting so there is no point wasting the battery, especially since I do not know when next exactly, I will be able to charge it again.

Tomorrow, weather, and damage permitting, I want to head back to that near-by park I recently came across during one my walks of discovery. This particular park to me seems as odd as it is beautiful. It speaks to me; I am sure of it. I am also sure that it has more history to it than what I have been able to find out about it up to now. So far, I have only trekked one of its four trails and the place intrigues me so, that I almost have a need to return there. Thing is, that trek, it feels unreal, as if I only dreamt that I walked it.