Finding Love

Chapter 2

Quase sem querer (Almost by accident)

The week would go on normally and I could go on with my life pretending that Wednesday never happened. I was sure that everything would return to normal and I would even remember of that "almost" revelation that Carlinhos wanted to give to me. And it really would be, if it wasn't the dream I had that same night.

It was so bright, that white light blinding my eyes, I couldn't see what was in front of me, just a female figure in a distance. The sound of loud laughter coming from her. I kept walking toward that figure and realized that she was waiting for me and when I got closer I realized it was Vic, she was waiting for me. Laughing loudly and gleefully, as if she had just heard a joke. She came walking towards me, as if she just found me. She took my hand, pulled me up close to her and said something looking at me, I couldn't understand, the words were leaving without sound. But I was happy, I smiled, smiled like a fool. I could feel my hear melting when I was next to her. And she came close to me, she was about to kiss me, and I felt like my heart was about to explode, her lips were close to mine and when she was going to kiss me...

I woke up. In fact, I jumped out of bed like a crazy. I closed my eyes again and the kissing scene came back to my mind. I opened my eyes quickly and promised myself I wouldn't close my eyes during the day, I didn't want to think about that dream, the "almost" secret that Carlinhos "almost" told me or the contagious and delicious smile of Vic in my dreams. I jumped out of bed again, I had to stop thinking about everything. I let myself loose the time in the shower. The cold water ran through my body taking that dream away, but Vic's almost kiss couldn't get out of my head and it was starting to really bother me. I stayed longer than usual in the shower, I did everything to delay. I didn't want to see Victoria and we had the first class together. Actually, she was in all of my moments. I felt like she was the responsible for carrying the air that I should breath. Without her, my body was just a mix of bones without a soul.

The bus swing somehow gives me a nearly uncontrollable sleep and I fell asleep in traffic, enough to bring up the same last night's dream. And once again I woke up scared, fortunately, almost arriving at college. The iPod in my ear started to play "Bad Romance" one of my favourites to wake up.

I was almost there. I could see the college entrance and every step closer, was a faster beat of my heart. I knew that in a few minutes I probably would see the girl that invade my dreams last night. The phone in my pocket accused a new message. I knew exactly who it was, without even looking. I slowly unlocked the screen: "Wait for Me!". What? I read and reread the message and again I didn't understand anything. I raised my head and looked into the path I came from. Message explained. Vic came walking fast toward me, and for a moment I lost all my air, I remembered the damn dream, but now it was Vic who came walking and I smiled without even realizing it. A sense of déjà vu. My legs failed. I was trying to breath but everything that I could do was staring at all the movements that girl did. The way her hair go with the wind, the way her hand was inside her pocket and mostly the way her smile kept growing as she approached. Oh God, I really wanted to feel that lips. What? Why I am thinking like that? My head was a totally mess. I could only smile waiting for her. And didn't understand why I was smiling so easily and so embarrassed at the same time.

- Hi baby! - Vic hugged me tight, as she did every time

- Hey, late too? - I returned the hug but was a little tense.

- Yes, parties during the week end like that!

- So, apparently you didn't sleep too early?

- More or less, I was listening to some songs. And you?

- I rolled a bit in bed, but it didn't take long!

- That's good, you should be more rested than me!

- Not so much, I slept badly, I dreamt a lot!

- Nightmares? Erotica? Dream about me?

She was always like that. Like flirting with me but unintentionally. She was always around, make me need her even more. I wish I knew what was necessity that time. I had no idea yet.

I pretend I didn't understand the questions about the dreams, I didn't had time to make up an excuse and I was sure I wouldn't tell her the truth. I wrapped talking we were late for class, accelerating the pace, causing her to accompany me almost running. The loose headset was playing the loud music that she was listening. We were silent, we entered the classroom as quietly as possible, sit side by side as always, opened the notebook and focused in the class. Or at least tried to. She put her phone back in the ear and scribbled some stretches of music in the notebook. I usually liked to read those songs that to me were still a mystery. But that day I couldn't. Now and then I'd take my head away, staring into nothing and suddenly the image of Vic smiling and coming to kiss me would just pop up in my head. I was going cray.

The strangest thing was that every time I thought about the dream, every time I saw this scene I felt butterflies in my stomach. My stomach squirmed, giving me a sudden nervous. It was by accident, I didn't know what that meant. I was wondering about that strange feeling. The only thing I could think of was that I didn't want to forget that dream and at the same time I wanted it to finish. After all, I didn't felt her kiss, and that was killing me with curiosity.

When I realized all that was going through my head at the same time, I tried to erase it. What the fuck? Curiosity? From what? It was all bullshit of my head, I was sure. All this was about those oddities that Carlinhos "almost" told me. I tried to forget that little craziness, I copied the lesson and payed attention in class. As much as I could after all.

Finally it was break time. The class seemed like an eternity, not ended. We went down still in silence, Vic with the phone as usual, and me with my head away. I was trying to focus on anything else useless, just couldn't be thinking about that damn dream. I was silent, I didn't want to say anything that could deliver my state of mind. It was logical that Vic would realize at some point. We were together for three hours already and we had not exchanged half a dozen words. It didn't take long, so we sit on the campus, she stood up and bent over in front of me.

- You can speak, what have I done? - She started

- What? What you're talking about Vic?

- Your face, your lack of subject and the fact that you didn't talk to me all morning!

I swear that I could not resist and ended up falling into a laugh. She continued.

- Relax, it's nothing with you!

- Thank goodness, I was devastated here! But tell me then, what happened?

To speak it, she sat next to me again, but this time closer, screwing her arm in mine, making my heart race. And that gesture was normal between us, up to that time. Still breathing hard, I continued.

- It is nothing! I'm just a little tired and worried.

- Worried about what?

- Tests. - Made up! In fact we didn't have any test scheduled, we didn't have to worry about- You're kidding, right?!

- No. - I lied one more time

- The tests nor were scheduled yet!

- But when they are scheduled, will be all together - I was really believing in that lie!

- OK then, I'm glad you didn't do Medicine.

We laughed together. That laugh as many others, but had a different meaning, had been more intimate than others, had been more honest and more connected. At that time had passed unnoticed, but I would understand and repeat it a few more times. But even there, it was all 'by accident'.

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Hey, me again here! Hope you're enjoying this story! Love u!

<3