Chapter 1 (pt. 2) Memories

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Shawn Mendes-Memories

~~~~~~~~~~Present~~~~~~~~

Her voice still mocks me. It keeps ringing in my ears, constantly reminding me of that day.

That day.

I wipe off the tears that still remained on my face and stood up. I scan the forest one last time before I walk myself home.

Memories continue to appear in my mind. The cold autumn wind swept across my skin. My hair danced the the sunlight with the wind.

I inhale deeply, trying to calm myself down. I listened to the rhythm of the water. I watched as the water collided with the boulders.

I kick a small pebble off of the cliff. A faint light thud was heard from the bottom of the cliff.

I turn back to go home. It hurt to even look at the trees. I start running, hoping the faster I get away from here, the more I save time for my tears.

The trees became more dense as I ran deeper into the forest. The path grew more noticeable as well.

I come back to the border between the territories. I run even faster, hoping to have the border line would just become a blur.

I reach back to where I started the run. The pack house was covered in a golden light. The grass shimmered in the sunlight. The sun danced upon the ripples of the water, the river near the pack house.

Sierra stood their with a worried face. Her eyes traveled to where I was standing. I just wanted to cry right now.

"Alex..." she said but I didn't give her enough time to finish her sentence as I ran into the pack house and ran amok up the stairs.

I rushed into my room and slammed the door and locked it. I press me back against the door, breathing heavily.

I start sobbing as I slid down the door slowly. I cover my face with my cold hands.

The tears kept coming and coming. I couldn't stop. All these years, I kept my tears stored in and today was the day they came all out.

My eyes started to sting from tears and my eyelids became very heavy. I ran my hands through my messy hair as I stood up from the ground.

I walk over to the mirror and stare at myself. My eyes all puffy and red, along with my face. I looked like a monster, well, at least I think I do.

My blue eyes really stand out from my red face. I turn away from the mirror because I couldn't stand the sight that was before my eyes.

I walk over to my nightstand to grab my phone. It wasn't there. It's the last place I left it. How can it not be there?

I walk over to my closet and look through all the drawers. Where can it be?

As I open one drawer, there was a book. It was very big and seemed heavy.

I run my fingers along the cover of the mysterious book. The cover must be made of leather because of the it was very soft and smooth, with some rough edges.

I pull the book out and it was surprisingly light. I walk over to my bed and sat down, anxious to open the book.

I flipped the cover over and there were pictures of this baby. They had big blue eyes, creamy blonde hair, pale white skin, a button nose, cheeks as red as roses and that were covered in tiny freckles, and plump lips that were as red as blood.

They also had high cheekbones and small, cute ears. You could barely see their eyebrows but their eyelashes were very long, even though you couldn't really see them as well.

I turn to the next page and see the same baby but older. They were hugging this huge bear that was three times their size. They were smiling and laughing. Their smile was the brightest and biggest smile I have ever seen.

I finally realized that this child was a girl. As she was smiling, she had dimples. She was perfect.

I continued to see pictures of the same child but older and older until I realized who it was. I turned to the next page to see a family photo.

The child was me.

Yeah, like something that looked like an angel from heaven could be me. I didn't believe it until I looked closer in the photo.

My mom and dad were there too.

In this photo, my dad was hugging my mom from the back as my mom held me tight in her arms.

We were all smiling and laughing. My mom's golden blonde hair shined in the sunlight with mine.

I just realized how much darker my hair became since I was little. My hair used to be platinum blonde but now is turned into my mom's golden blonde hair.

My mom seemed so happy. So did my dad.

It's been a while since I saw my dad actually smile. It's rare that I see him happy. This photo is hanged in the hallway but it was taken down the day of my mother's death.

This photo reminds me of the times when the sun always shined. There was no rain and if there was, we would just dance in it.

Images of my mom's smile flashes through my mind. God, how I miss that smile.

Tears fill up my eyes and my bison becomes blurry. I take my soaked sleeve and wipe my eyes.

I sniffled as I put the book away. I guess it was great to see those photos but I'm still stuck in the beginning of the book.

I'll look through it when I am feel ready. And I will not cry. I never realized until I lost my mom that she was a big part of my life.

My mom and dad both. They are a blessing that I have been given. I always talked with my mom but I wish I talked with her more.

I've always talked with my dad but ever since mom died, we have been very distant. I wonder if we will ever become close again.

I stand up and walk over to the bed and lay down. My phone was under the blanket apparently. I finally rest my head on my pillow. My eyes became even more heavier than before and I immediately fell asleep.

This is what I need. Rest. But there will never be enough for me.

What I don't need is pain, but I have plenty of that and it will never go away. It demands to be felt and it won't let go until it is felt. The pain is tattooed into my mind and heart.

The pain made scars in me that haunt me. No one will ever see my scars. They will remain disclosed, just like my past.

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Hey guys. Thanks for reading this chapter. Hope you like it as well.

I will try to update weekly but if that doesn't happen, it usually means I forgot to update because I have bad memory😶

Hope you guys continue reading this book, please vote as well. If you have any suggestions please comment on my comment board, in this book, or even privately message me.

I know this chapter seems kind of boring but it will get interesting very soon...

See you guys next time. Bye✌🏼👋🏼

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