Why Should I Let You Back In?

Chapter 5: It hurts like a bitch!!

I spent my entire weekend at the Golden Boy's house. To be honest it was pretty fun. He took me out and we went rock hill climbing. It was so much fun, until i fell and bruised my knee. Excrutiating pain. He applied some cream on it and gave my a piggy back ride. I ended up sleeping on his back.

So now, I'm laying on his bed and chatting with him about life and so forth. I enjoy talking to him, he's a good listener. He reminds me of... Jeremy. And that's what i hate the most.

"So, have you ever been inlove?"

He asked while his hands were behind his head and his eyes were closed. He looked so peaceful.

"I don't know."

I replied looking at the ceiling. The in love talk always reminds me of him. I hate the way Jeremy has an effect on me.

"What do you mean?"

He asked, i didn't want to answer the questions anymore. But i have to, and anyways i trust Chad.

"I don't know...how it feels to be inlove, I once thought i was. And i won't lie it was the... it was the best feeling to ever be given by someone, who hasn't even known you for that long but... gets you so much. I've been hurt before and that honestly tore me apart. Having him cheat on me, it hurt. I thought that i was done for when Jeremy found someone new.. i-in ...  London. It hurt like a bitch." i replied trying to hold back the tears, i wasn't sad. I was fucking pissed.

"I honestly didn't want to believe it when Krissy told me, Krissy was my best friend and also Jeremy's sister. She told me about Madelon, but i just snapped at her, said things i didn't mean. That day i broke my best friend's heart. And i felt so, so stupid. And what hurts the most is... h-he bro-broke his p-promise. One... fucked up.. promise"

I finished off with a sob, i felt myself being pulled in warm arms. He wiped my tears,and pulled me close to his chest. He rocked me back and forth, brushing my hair with his hand.

"Shhh... don't cry Princess."

I tried,composing myself but it was so difficult, i ended up crying myself to sleep. It hurt so much, the pain shot right through me, aching my heart. I wanted Jeremy with me again, i know its stupid... but i wanted him to come take me out of my misery. I wanted him so badly. My heart wanted him so badly. My entire body and feelings craved for him. How could one affect so many things?? I hate Jeremy. I love him so much! And i hate that i love him so much. I hate the way i go mad over him. I hate what he's done to me.

I wanted to scream the pain away, i wanted to die it off. I wanted to be taken away. Eaten away. ANYTHING that will,heal and mend my broken heart and take.. the pain...away.  My sobs became sniffs after an hour of trying to rock me to sleep. I started saying my cries inside my head. Mentally slapping myself and crying myself into a small puddle of blood from my bleeding heart. After a few minutes i felt my eyelids go heavy, my vision starting to blur. I was tired. TIRED OF EVERYTHING!! I slept in the arms of the boy that helped me forget. The boy who never leaves my side, the boy that i honestly adored. I honestly appreciate all his done for me. I love him.

"Thank you Chad."

He smiled and kissed my forehead.

"Anything for my princess."

I smiled then black..

••••••••

I woke up later on, in his warm arms and i noticed our tangled legs. I turned my head and faced him, he looked like an Angel. So calm and beautiful, i noticed our intwined hands and smiled at myself. I placed my hand on his face and rubbed his cheek. I so badly wanted to wake him and get lost in his blue eyes, but he's sleeping and i can't disturb that. I mean every beauty deserves their beauty sleep.