Shattered

18. The Drunk Wife

It was two days before christmas when Alec found himself staring at the sky again. The breeze was cold and harsh, the sky dark and mellow. There was nothing cheerful about that night. The stars were hidden by the gray clouds above him and the moon rays were failing to light up his apartment balcony.

He pulled his jacket closer to his chest when the cold wind hit him again. His phone's display was still glowing bright, displaying the message Beth had sent him. She wasn't going to return home that night. And he was glad. Even in this cold bitter night, he had been able to find peace that he hadn't in the past week.

He loved Beth, she liked him and everything was going well between them. He had been repeating those words like a chant for days now because the fantasy seemed far better than the reality. Those words were his fantasy. But reality was far different from this.

The truth was, Alec was in love with Beth. Every night after they returned home from office, they would straight away go to their bedroom, making love to each other in every raw and primeval ways until the morning would come. But then almost like a switch, Beth would change, from a raw passionate woman who knew tricks in bed that made him beg into a distant woman who didn't want to be near him from the very moment sun's first rays fall into the room.

He couldn't understand what was going on until three nights back, when he saw the wildfire in her eyes die down, making the eyes spiritless to which he was usualy waking up. It was then, he realised she was just using him as a distraction. That was all he was becoming for her. He still wanted to believe in opposite but he knew what the truth was.

The truth was, something had changed that night when they had first slept together. Something had changed between them and now she was a woman he didn't recognise anymore. The truth was, he was losing Beth and she was only pushing him out, letting no way for him to save her.

He closed his eyes and repeated the words, He loved Beth, she liked him and everything was going well between them and went to bed.

•

Beth wiped the foggy mirror of the bathroom. There stood a lady staring at her with a blank face and hollow eyes. Her body aching with exhaustion from the flight; her face, dull and tired; her eyes, encircled with dark circles. Her wet hair fell along her lifeless stature and she stared at the woman she had become.

Alec didn't know she was in a tiny motel in another city. For him, she was performing an emergency bypass surgery which is going to last for six hours. She had to lie to him, otherwise he would have asked questions. He wouldn't have left her alone. He would have wanted to know the entire truth about her past. He would have wanted to help her, even when she didn't want it.

But a part of her did wanted his help. Help to bear the pain she always felt. She wanted him here. She him to hold her close and to cry on his shoulder, hear his voice calming her. At first, she felt he was her distraction, but now she was beginning to feel he could become her support too, helping her carry the weight which she had learnt to carry alone.

She had been bearing this pain alone for so long, she just wanted to know what it felt like to share with someone. Like he was doing with his pain of losing Melissa.

But that also made her scared. Sharing it with him also meant letting it all go. And she wasn't ready to let go of the memories that brought her all this pain.

Pain was her only way to relive them. And she didn't want to let go.

•

When next morning Alec woke up, he knew what he had to do. He had to speak to his wife. It was a Saturday morning, she would be returning home soon. She always did after an evening surgery. That was when he decided to speak to her about what was going on between them. They had to. It was too much for him to know that he was just her distraction.