Lean On Me (Yoonmin)

TWO

He was awake. He had been for a while now, just laying there... who knows for how long. Finally, Yoongi opened his eyes. It took a while for his eyes to adjust to the bright sunlight filtering through the blinds. He fumbled for his phone and squinted at the digits on the screen: it was approaching 1pm. That meant the other six members were on their way to the recording. It was some kind of music show – Yoongi couldn't remember which. He wasn't really sure what the schedule was any more.

The reason for his absence had been explained to the fans as some kind of injury. Probably a sprained ankle or maybe the shoulder thing again. No one else in the company seemed to know why he was really missing shows and events, hell even Yoongi couldn't quite put it into words, although that was probably just denial on his part. Bang PDnim had apparently assumed it was just stress and Yoongi was fine with that. But an idol sick with stress isn't good for the image of the company, so some other excuse was provided.

Initially Yoongi had lurked on fansites and comment sections reading the outpouring of support from his beloved ARMY and all of the wishes for him to recover quickly. His logic was that the comments would pull him out of his stupor, or maybe motivate him to at least do something. But motivation had long since abandoned him, and the comments simply served to add guilt to the crushing weight of emotions he had to battle with everyday.

Yoongi suddenly noticed that he had a message. He refocused on the little screen in his hand and saw that it was from Jimin. Just seeing that name on the screen caused a stab of pain to shoot through him. Despite everything he had been through with Namjoon, and the fact that he and Jin were – used to be – perfect room-mates, there was something about his bond with Jimin that was just... different. And maybe it was just part of his personality, or maybe it was because Jimin felt that stronger bond too, Yoongi wasn't sure... but him being so distant seemed to be hitting Jimin the hardest. But in typical Jimin fashion, this was only apparent if you really knew him: on the surface he seemed fine, if anything he was a bit louder, and a lot brighter. He was putting all of his waking hours in to practicing. Always checking on his members and trying to brighten everyone's day, as usual. The key difference was that now all of these actions were forced, and Yoongi could tell.

Still, he closed the message without replying and returned the phone to his bedside table.

**********

Why did he do it? Why did he look up? Yoongi had tried his best to avoid looking at his reflection – a difficult task when you share a room with Seokjin, due to all the mirrors he'd placed around the room. But today, as he was going through the motions of brushing his teeth, Yoongi looked up and into the sunken eyes of his reflection.

He scrutinized every detail. The unkempt, messy black mop of hair. The dark circles under his eyes that told of weeks of unfulfilling sleep. The dull, blank stare looking back at him. And he hated it. He hated every thing he saw in that damn mirror.

Yoongi pulled his gaze away and found his thoughts drifting back to the message he'd received a little earlier.

hyung!
your members are gonna miss you again today!
maybe if you're up you could watch and cheer us on?
i practiced extra hard for you

Jimin

p.s. next time don't stay up til 5am silly

p.p.s. sleepyhead

Another pang of guilt.

don't stay up til 5am

So Jimin must have been awake too. How else could he have known that Yoongi had finally gone to bed at 5? it wasn't unusual for Jimin to stay up late practicing, but 5am? As much as he yearned for perfection in every step, he always made sure he had a good night's sleep too. Was he staying up late to keep an eye on Yoongi? Was he unable to sleep until he knew Yoongi was also sleeping?