Lean On Me (Yoonmin)

ONE

"Hyung?"

Was that a voice? It seems distant.

"Hyung!"

Ok, that was definitely a voice.

"Suga hyung!"

Yoongi felt a pair of hands on his shoulders, and was reluctantly pulled from the daze in which he'd found himself yet again. He finally looked up and was greeted with a familiar boxy smile. A trace of concern flickered through those deep brown eyes; a look he'd seen reflected in many pairs of eyes lately.

"Hyung, you spaced out again."

Here we go again. "No, I was just planning out your part in the next Cypher," came his monotone reply.

Taehyung's concern was instantly replaced with wide-eyed surprise. "Oh my god, for real?"

"Yeah," Yoongi smirked, "it's the verse where I list all the reasons you'll never feature in one."

Taehyung mouthed silently for a moment and then, unable to come up with any witty comebacks, simply pouted and sulked out of the room.

"That savagery right there is reason number one!" Yoongi called after him as Taehyung closed the studio door behind him.

The response had come to him automatically. He laughed humourlessly at himself for the briefest moment, but then found himself lost in silence once more. He had indeed 'spaced out' again. It was happening more and more lately. And he was alone in the small dorm studio again, another increasingly common occurrence. Yoongi had always enjoyed his own company, especially when working on music - lyrics in particular - but now it felt as if he was always alone. Not just in the literal sense but, even surrounded by people, he always felt a sense of loneliness; of being on the outside looking in. Feelings that were all too familiar to him. Feelings he never wanted to feel again.

And yet here they were, slowly creeping back into his head. What made things worse was that Yoongi knew that this was just the beginning. He knew the little niggling thoughts and feelings had the potential to expand and pollute his mind, to overwhelm him.

"I can't go back. I can't go through that again," he said to himself, as if saying it aloud would make it so.

Still, the black haired male remained alone and motionless in that room late into the night, consumed by thoughts of both everything and nothing.

**********

Yoongi slowly pushed open the bedroom door and squinted into the darkness.

"Seokjin hyung?" he whispered.

A loud snore confirmed that his room-mate was fast asleep, just as he'd hoped. Gone were the days when Jin would stay up until any hour waiting for him to return. Yoongi didn't blame him. After constant avoidance and silence, of staying up until dawn and sleeping in until noon and then shutting himself away in the studio all day; of course Jin would eventually give up and stop making the effort.

All this did was exacerbate Yoongi's worries, as he knew Jin would be feeling guilty for giving up on him, even though Yoongi had left him no real choice. And yet here he was, creeping in in the early hours once again in order to avoid speaking with his once closest of friends.

He sighed and settled himself into bed for what would no doubt be another night of restless, unsatisfying sleep.

Maybe tomorrow would be better.