Lean On Me (Yoonmin)

SIX

A few weeks had passed since the night Jimin had left the note for Yoongi, and Jimin was definitely struggling. Rather than go even further into hiding, the events of that night seemed to have the opposite effect on Yoongi: he was now present within the group. As a group BTS had no scheduled public appearances for a little while due to the wrapping up of their latest promotions, but they still had work to do. Yoongi now joined in with dance practice and rehearsals, and would join his members for meals and even sit with them when watching television. He was quiet, even for him, but he was there.

What bothered Jimin was that Yoongi was trying to act as if everything was normal. As if they hadn't shared something special that night; something that Jimin couldn't stop thinking about. Any time he and Yoongi looked like they might end up alone together, the older male made an excuse to leave. He was tired, he needed to make a call, he just remembered something important for a song he was working on... Jimin had no idea what exactly he wanted to say to his hyung, but he knew he couldn't go on pretending like nothing had happened.

This sudden change in Yoongi bothered Jimin for other reasons too: he knew his hyung had been suffering again from anxiety and depression, and though he'd freely admit that he didn't know anywhere near enough about the conditions to be able to really help, he knew for certain that Yoongi hadn't just 'gotten over it' like he seemed to be pretending to have. Jimin worried that forcing himself to act like he was okay before he was ready could just hurt him even more. But as Yoongi seemed to be avoiding him, he had even smaller of a chance of getting through to him than before.

Jimin sighed and pulled his attention back to the room. He was sat at the dorm dining table with his as yet untouched breakfast. Everyone except he and Jungkook had already made their way to the practice room for dance rehearsals, he supposed he should probably make his way there soon.

"What's up hyung?"

Jimin lifted his gaze to meet the eyes of the maknae.

"Hmm?"

"You look like your mind is somewhere else today" Jungkook said with concern in his eyes.

"I'm just tired." Jimin replied, although even he could tell that his words sounded unconvincing.

"Okay hyung, but just remember it's not good to keep things inside. A problem shared is a problem halved! Do you remember who told me that?"

Jimin sighed again. "I did" he replied with a small smile which Jungkook returned.

"Exactly! Now we better head to the practice room, I don't wanna be scolded for being late again!"

Jimin stood and reluctantly followed Jungkook to join the others.

**********

Jimin shook his hair out of his eyes, sweat dripping everywhere. They'd been practicing for hours and he was feeling uncharacteristically tired. He called a time out and sat on the floor with his water bottle.

Jungkook plopped himself down next to Jimin, wiping the sweat from his brow as Jimin took a swig from his bottle.

"So Jimin hyung, what's going on with you and Suga hyung?"

Jimin choked briefly on his water, and noticed out of the corner of his eye that Yoongi was glancing in his direction.

"What? What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing, just you two seem to be struggling with the choreo more than usual" Jungkook shrugged.

"I told you earlier, I'm just tired Jungkook."

Jimin looked over at Yoongi who was now focusing all his attention on the water bottle lid he was fiddling with. Jimin found his gaze often drifting to Yoongi lately, who had been avoiding all eye contact with him. He returned his gaze to the floor and scowled at it.

"Hyung!" Jungkook playfully pushed Jimin's shoulder, "you're not even listening to me are you?" he laughed semi-exasperated.

"What?"

"Forget it," Jungkook rolled his eyes at his hyung as he stood and made his way over to Taehyung instead.

Jimin decided to take this chance, he stood up and walked over to Yoongi. His plan was to sit down next to him and... he wasn't sure, maybe just say 'hi'. But Yoongi saw him coming and sprang to his feet.

"Suga hyung!" he called quietly, but Yoongi ignored him. "Right, we ready to go again?" he called to the group, turning the music back on.

As Jimin's body followed the all-too familiar steps, his eyes were constantly turned towards his hyung. Yoongi however was looking anywhere but at him. Jimin felt the anger bubbling inside again, threatening to rise to the surface. He didn't deserve this. He waited for the opportune moment in the choreo which he knew better than the back of his hand, and with a 'misplaced' foot managed to trip Yoongi and send him falling to the floor.

"What the fuck do you think you're playing at?" Yoongi yelled, getting up and rounding on Jimin.

"I'm sorry hyung, I was just being clumsy."

"Clumsy my arse! You've never tripped anyone before, what the hell?"

"Come on, I said I'm sorry!"

The other members were watching the exchange holding their breath. They'd never seen the two members fighting before and none knew how to approach the situation, so they just watched, frozen to the spot.

"You stuck your fucking foot out!"

"I said I'm sorry! Maybe if you weren't so self-absorbed you would have seen it!" Jimin spat.

Yoongi seemed to freeze for a split second, simply staring at Jimin. Then his eyes darkened and he pulled his fist back.

"Hyung no!" Taehyung called but it was too late. Yoongi's fist collided with the side of Jimin's face sending the latter down to the floor. Jungkook and Taehyung ran over to Jimin whilst Namjoon, Hoseok and Seokjin ran to restrain Yoongi. Jimin clutched his palm to his face, staring up at his hyung in disbelief, blood seeping from his cut lip. All he could see was hatred reflected in the eyes of his once best friend; he was panting heavily and still glaring at him.

"Get your hands off me" Yoongi spat and struggled free of the restraining arms of his members. He glared down at Jimin, still sprawled on the practice room floor, and then turned his back to him. "I'm leaving" he muttered and stormed off, leaving his six members to simply watch him leave.

***********

Yoongi slammed the bedroom door shut behind him and locked it. He was fuming. He grabbed the nearest thing he could find, not caring what it was, and threw it across the room where it smashed against the wall.

"Aaarrrrggghhh!" he screamed to the empty room.

The last thing he wanted to do was draw any attention to himself... what the fuck did Jimin think he was playing at? There's no way that was an accident, he thought angrily to himself, pacing back and forth.

He punched the wall, causing his knuckles to bleed. "Fuck!" he muttered to himself. In all honesty Yoongi knew Jimin wasn't deserving of what had just happened, or of how he'd been treating him the last few weeks. But Yoongi would never admit that to himself. Jimin had caused him to question everything he thought he knew about himself, and that was not okay with him.

He couldn't stand to look at him right now. Yet at the same time, Yoongi felt a strange sensation in his chest at the thought of Jimin right now, and how he must be feeling.

He'd hurt him. He'd hurt his best friend, not just physically but he knew he must be hurting inside too. Yoongi's pacing and breathing had calmed now, and he was beginning to see through the sea of red from moments ago.

He'd punched his best friend. He'd caused Jimin's lips to bleed.

Jimin's lips.

The sensation of Jimin's lips on his flashed through his mind and Yoongi felt his eyes prickle with tears.

"Fuck!" he yelled and grabbed one of the largest bottles of liquor he kept stashed in his room. He downed it, threw the bottle across the room, and then lay on his bed until he passed out.

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