The Better Part of Me

one

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"Okay since this is your eighth session, we're going to start with what's on your mind. Remember to speak into the recorder."

"O-okay."

"Just start with your name and age and reason for coming today."

"Um, my name is Charlie Fisher, I am thirty-one years old and my reason for coming today is because I can't stop thinking about someone who hurt me very deeply."

"Okay good, you can start talking whenever you want Charlie."

"Um, okay, well it would be best if I started from the beginning...."

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BEGINNING

The point in time or space where something starts.

I was always told that I viewed the world differently and saw what most kids didn't. From an early age, I was exposed to the loss of true love. I had a broken sense of what love was since the only person in the world who loved and cared for me had left. I guess you could say that's why I stayed with him. I sometimes even believed that I deserved what he did to me, but then again that's love, right?

He used that word to his advantage, and manipulated me to follow him, but can you blame me, I had no one to tell me otherwise, no one on my side. He was a very attractive nineteen-year-old with a god complex any girl would fall for. Me, on the other hand, a very closeted seventeen-year-old with nothing short of terrible style and an awful choice in friends.

It was the end of my junior year in Brookberry High when Aliana introduced us, he was just another college guy who was, of course, out of my league.

"H-hi"

"Nice to meet you....?"

"Uh, Charlie."

"Charlie."

"Name's Blake," he winked.

At the time, he was a sophomore in college and I was just starting my senior year. I didn't know it then but he singlehandedly crushed my entire being.

It was an end of the summer bash, my first college party. I was, of course, excited to socialize with people other than my drunk mother. Aliana had come over that evening, I think even more excited than I was to finally be around "men".

When she had come over, her arms were filled with endless outfits she deemed "perfect" for getting some, excuse my language, dick tonight.

"We have so much to do!"

"L-like what?"

"Like what! Charlie this is the first time we're invited to a party and not just any party, a college party!"

"Okay, so what I'm hearing is I'm being forced to go to a 'college' party with drunk college boys."

"Uhuh!"

I mean how could I resist her adorable little giggle and excitement over going out. I mean what she said was true, it was our first time going to a college party, maybe it would be fun. I mean what's the worst that could happen, right?

After finally giving in to her whines and protests, I had agreed to get all dolled up for tonight. Since I had no experience in dressing nicely at all, that job was left up to Aliana. She did a smokey eye make-up look which accentuated my hazel eyes with a touch of pink lip gloss. I put on one of the dresses she brought, not to mention that it wasn't by choice, she had a way of persuading me into trying new things.

The dress was a beautiful flowy spaghetti strap sundress which stopped mid-thigh, it was burgundy red with little white flowers all over it.

"There! All done!"

She placed the full body mirror in front of me and I was amazed by what I saw back, I looked presentable. I felt confident with myself and loved the way the dress felt under my fingers, it was perfect.

"Thanks, Ally," I said as I hugged her tightly.

"No problem babes."

As we separated, I smile gratefully at my beautiful friend. I looked at her...I mean I really looked at her. Her wavy auburn hair fell gracefully down her back which only shaped the curves on her body. She had these cute little freckles that sprinkled all over her olive skin. Her fierce blue eyes pierced into me as I looked down at her pink plump lips and then back up to her eyes. Her cheeks began to turn red as she realized our proximity.

"Chaarrrlliieee!" my mom banged on my bedroom door. By the slurring in her voice, I could tell she had been drinking all afternoon. It was the same thing every night; pick a fight with me, blame me for the death of my father, drink some more and then pass out on the couch.

In these situations, it was best to wait out the banging on my door, as I knew that if I opened it it would lead to a massive fight.

"Shhhh, don't say anything so she doesn't know we are in here," I had rushed to the light and turned the switch off with such fright of getting caught that I had fallen over the make-up bag and right onto Aliana. We landed in a mess on the floor, I was laid on top of her while she was under me. As I realized the position we were in, both of our breaths began getting heavier and before I could think it through properly, I lowered my lips onto hers, barely brushing them against hers. I heard her shudder in response and before I could pull away, she picked her head up and crashed her lips onto mine. The kiss was heated as we feverishly locked our lips together and relished at the moment.

I had never felt that way with any other person before and it scared me to no end. The kiss felt so right yet so wrong at the same time and before it lasted any longer I pulled away, by that time my mom had stopped banging on my door, and we were both out of breath from the intense kiss. I stood up and fixed my dress and looked into the mirror to avoid looking at Aliana and avoid a very confusing conversation about what had happened, but to my surprise, she grabbed her purse and started for the door. What the hell did I do?